Magic Of Moments !!!!!

How many of us remember “Special Days “of our life? I don’t mean the Birthdays and Anniversaries of our friends and family members, whom we remember, its natural (sometimes struggle to remember them as well!! Not natural!! ).

We create certain moments in our lives, and I define them as simple pleasures of life which we often lose sight of in the daily mundane life. We all have them, some have a lot of them some have a handful.

But they exist.

Each one of us have created that magic in our life, with ourselves or with others around us and created moments which I define as “Magical moments “!!!

I remember not much about my childhood and at that point in life I am sure, I did not even know what the word magic meant, unless I saw a magician doing tricks in a magic show.

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

My first crush in the high school , the moment I saw him near the locker room ,or just hanging around with his friends near the canteen ,to avoid the eye contact yet try to have his glimpse ,  would race my  heart beats !!!

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

The first day , I met that  “someone special “ and I knew that something amazing is going to happen and it turns out to be once in a life time of love .

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

Wedding day comes as a day full of joy, peace, love, harmony accompanied with tears. Words are never enough to explain what happens before the event, but at the end of the day, words spoken, tears wiped and smiles have stopped it becomes a memorable day!!!

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

When I was ready to place my feet on the path, the journey of crazy life, being aware that it was not going to be a joyride but will have its share of pains with pleasures!!!

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

Each morning when my husband says. “I LOVE YOU”!! Makes me feel that my life is worthwhile, the smile that starts from the heart and reaches my face!!

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

The day I realized that I have a new life, taking shape inside me, within me. The essence of being a mother!!

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

The day  my dream came true and I held my son in my arms, touching him , feeling him , the joy of changing nappies , feeding , his first crawl  , his first steps , see him smile , see him grow !!!

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

I cannot forget about those small special days, when I shared a lunch with a friend and talked my heart out, a surprise party which I threw for a colleague, when I laughed over a silly joke, the day I spent with my mom talking about my childhood, long drives, listening to an old melody which was long forgotten. I could go on and on ……!!!

That’s MAGIC for me!!!  

It’s like a personal library, a book which has lots of sweet woven stories of its own.  They are magical moments!!!

There are so many wonderful moments of magic that we create daily, it’s we who have to choose whether to notice them or not and when we decide to notice them life’s magic

Just by thinking about all those magical moments and bringing all the good feeling within me.

I just created one more magical moment, now!!!

That’s MAGIC for me!!!   

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

My "DIDDA "- My Role Model

Our parents play an important role in making us what we are today…..we always tend to fall back on our mothers, they have always been the forefront of the families, the iron lady as she is been called most of the times. She is the icon of love, warmth, caring and nurturing.

But  we tend to forget our fathers,  they have been there as well for us as bread runners  of the house , the person who makes sure we get the best in life in which ever best way they can offer  , the friend in times of trouble and the savior when the mother wears the apron of “ typical moms “.

He is the platform of our homes.

In the story of my life , the man who has been responsible for shaping my life till now and who for who I am today , happens to be my  father  the “Man of Steel “.

 My “Didda “.

He use to always work in shifts, and there were  times when he did not have enough  sleep before he left to go to work because he was busy spending time with us , listening to us , playing with us , talking to my mother . He had a rare calmness about him. I have never heard him raise his voice nor lose his temper.

He taught me the first lesson of my life in my childhood, and which remains with me till today, is the meaning of respect. He used to say “treat others with respect if you want to be treated the same way “and it remains the vanguard of my life.

He always tried to show me the difference between sufferings and complaining, which made me learn to be grateful in life to others and to God in my prayers.

Though I was cheerful and confident, I had my share of tears in life. In school days to acerbic friendships, he has witnessed the tears and would tell me always “would you want someone else to control how u feel “? He was the one who taught me to believe in my worth and believe in myself and no one can take that away from me.

My father’s confidence which fed my spirit, it gave me courage to peruse my goals. He used to say anything is achievable if you put your heart and soul , work hard enough and focus on nothing but the end result, the ability to start from nothing at all , but with hard work end up with a lot more .

He inculcated the faith in me and fighting spirit which makes me gets up each time I tousled to my feet or every time when I am brow bitten by the insalubrious situations.

It has been 19 years now, since my “Didda “is watching me from heaven.

But the, memories and his teaching plays an important part till date.

I miss that feeling of security that having a father allows you, whatever age you reach in life... I so envy it for those who have it and I still do that!!!

I miss all the goodness about my dad, his simplicity, his sense of humor, fighting spirits, laughter, joy, and hard work ethics and doing best with what he had in his life. Some shade of protectiveness is gone with his loss. It was hard to pick up the pieces of the shattered heart and it took years to get to the point where I felt stable footing again.

The things my father taught me may not be the absolute or a just right list, but I wonder how many fathers really have thought about things they want their children to learn and remember all their life?

I wonder sometimes, that will my son ever remember anything from his childhood. Most important the things that he is learning from his father now?

I am writing about #MyRoleModel as a part of the activity by Gillette India in association withBlogAdda.com.

                        

My Institution !!!!

Why is it when we were younger we thought we knew everything, yet the older we get the more we realise we don’t know what we thought we knew? Thank God, he gave us all " Mom" who taught us things in simple and quite ways.

 Along the life’s challenges, she took one big life lesson with her, the more you do things for yourself, the better. Since then, she taught us to be self reliant and self sufficient.

Always supportive, she clapped loudest at my school plays; held box of tissues while listening to my heartbreaks, confronted and encouraged me when it was needed.It was this advice that allowed me to make some of the life’s most challenging decisions as an adult.

She always told me “No one is perfect, baby that’s why pencils have erasers “.
She gave me priceless treasures, taught me love  and compassion are values that life’s all about, She taught me the value of guilt and conscious, struggles make us who we are and give us strength to be stronger.One of the most important things she taught me is “There is only one life for each one of us, OUR OWN “… and live it to the fullest!!!!!

She remains the most loving and giving woman I have ever come across and I am honoured to have her as my mother, my siblings and I are blessed, in the way she shaped our lives.
People often ask me how I stay so calm or how I maintain an optimistic outlook and my reply is “it’s all in the genes" !!!




This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Down the Memory Lane

Going down the memory lane is not an everyday routine; it’s definitely not something which we all do every day. But I am sure, we do have some days where we do think about them, what we were years or should we say decade ago… (Guess most of us do!!!!)


I have a dedicated time for myself, the time that is for only for ME. This unwinding time, as we call it generally is listening to some of ghazals, (Jagjit Singh for sure) in the background and reading or sometimes just sitting in front of the IDIOT BOX n surfing through the channels and not to forget about the 3rd  largest country in the world “FACEBOOK “(it definitely has made me get closer to my lost buddies).

Today, I happen to chat with a friend after almost a decade ,after exchanging the normal greets, talking about how we both have been all this years and where we have been … so on and so forth ….. We started talking about the good old days. The days when we were young, the life which was full of freedom, very little responsibilities or can say none actually!!!! . Those challenges to strive in life and achieve something, striving for that success in the career and most important the wait for those pay cheques at the end of the month (though the 4 digit ones) at the end of the month but mattered so much in those days... isn’t it!!!

This small conversation, did take me back into those yester years making me more nostalgic the whole day!!!!!

I have been missing my home … my friends and lot many things the whole day. My mind was wondering around those days when going for a movie did not need any planning, suiting at a coffee shop with friends for hours was like a ritual. When I started working, getting up at 4 o clock in the morning to join the shift at airport was never difficult; proving the point when needed was never difficult.

With the heart getting heavier, I was trying to actually think what I m sulking at? Trying to find answers, to what actually is bothering me the most, the career which came to n end at its pick? The financial freedom which I had at that time? The friends whom I miss and do not get chance to be with often? Or the life which was less of responsibility, fuss and more carefree..???

Questions are always easy!!! It’s the Answers which are difficult!!!!!

In midst of all these, I realize its afternoon already and time for my son to come home from school and hubby for lunch. Realisation of present I guess!!!!
.
The moment, Tanush walked in the house, surprisingly the mind automatically was diverted to the present.

The sadness and the moments of the past though stayed with me during the day but realisation of the fact was also there that you can never reverse the time. The one thing that you cannot do is to step back into the time, but yes what you can do is, think about that time and laugh, cry and nurture it!!!!!!!

At the end of the day as I again sit and watch the idiot box , I get the answer: “To get something in life you do have to give up few things, and I am proud mother and a lucky wife. I have no regrets of any kind today and am happy with WHAT I AM!!!! WHERE I AM!!!!

Friendships Do Die !!!!!

As it is said nothing good can last forever, everything that is good comes to an end, we can say that for friendship as well. If we think that good friendship may last forever, we may be wrong. There are very few friendships which actually survive, and I would call it as they are lucky friendships.

We are taught from our childhood that ‘Friends are like diamonds, precious and rare “. We have to preserve them and always try to do everything possible in this world to keep them forever as they are very difficult to come by.

Have we ever given a thought that if we all were dormant, unchanged. If at all we never moved forward or even backwards, if there was totally no growth then I believe we all would have been able to manage and maintain most of our relationships ( which ever they may be !!!.)

Unfortunately that’s not the case, we all change with time, with circumstances and with each given situation and so do our relationships. 

In the journey of life ,we meet people and they become friends, some stick around ( that’s good !! ) , some decide to leave ( that’s good as well !! ) ,some drift away with time ( which is normal ) and some just lose touch ( that’s a common thing !!).

In past one week, I witnessed few friendships end. The association which has been long, the friends who all believed to be life-long just chose to take separate roads. We all have faced such a moment in our lives as well ,where we have lost a friend whom we held very close to our heart, in other words we all have seen “ Death of Friendship “ . We all have experienced an end of friendship we thought would never end.( I have lost one friend years back !! ) .

Just in case, you have not experienced it personally, I am sure you would have friends who have experienced it and would relate to – “we just stopped talking “!!!!

No one likes to end the friendship, but it happens. There is sadness, a void in the heart, a feeling of hurt. There is a scar which remains to the core. Has it been easy to edit things ever? No, it’s never been easy to totally edit someone out of our life. Yes, they neither would be in our present nor in the future, but they will always exist in our past.

That’s it!! They are just not there anymore.  Accept it. Life moves on isn't it?

Friendship is like a river. It flows towards its destination and on the way it meets many interesting people. Relations between friends change, so best is to accept it that they have changed. Do not wipe the slate clean, instead keep them in memories.

Reasons can be known or unknown for the friendships to die; the cause of it could be you or anyone else. But the truth is that the relationship has a crack, things are not going to be same. It’s time to learn from the experience, the best thing is to stop investing in people who do not deserve us, people who do not understand the value of friendship.

It is not a universal law that al friendships come to an end. Many friendships survive over a long period and give immense joy. Why not take our friendships as one of those types and nurture them?

Unconscious Agreements !!!

The weather has changed, evenings are yet a bit pleasant which lures you to leave the house and be by the pool reading your favorite author. I was unerringly doing the same, but I had hardly managed to flip a few pages and something very distinctive happening in front of me caught my attention more than the book.

A group of kids were all around a boy, who had brought a new bicycle and everyone wanted a ride.

It was neither the bike nor the excitement of the kids, but it was the conversation among them which caught my attention.

All of them were urging the “proud owner of the bike “to let them try his new possession and the “owner” was in complete denial.

Suddenly one child among all said, “OK, if you let me ride your bike, then I will let you play on my PSP “.

The next minute, the “Owner” handed the handle of the bicycle to child and he paddled away with a smile.

Few watched him ride with sad faces, few dispersed and few started playing again from where they had left.

“IF YOU WILL ….. THEN I WILL “!!!!

Sounds familiar I told myself, I have heard it so many times. Alright, I have said it as well to my son so many times.

“If you finish your homework, then you will go down to play “!!! If you behave properly...then I will get you a gift “!!!

I could actually relate to it. It’s like an “AGREEMENT “which we unconsciously create between people.

And the child had done just the same. He had  created an “AGREEMENT “.

I believe everyone creates such unconscious agreements from early days through later life. We generally create a condition where we rely on other person to behave or perform certain actions, so that it will make us feel certain emotions.  Isn’t it?

And sometimes we even make AGREEMENTS where the other person is not even aware of them. Why? Because we never told them about it, when the person does not behave the way we anticipated them to behave we feel sad, hopeless, unhappy etc... But how does that person know what they were supposed to do? We never told them in the first place?  Did we???!!!!

 I think we can never make anyone do anything; we cannot force people to do things that will meet our condition. We can have control only on one person that’s “us “not anyone else.

I have learnt one thing, that if we are going to make these agreements with people we might as well tell them.  It will have stronger relationships and we will find these agreements being met more as people may not be able to fulfill it all the time but will make an attempt “at least.

I returned from my thoughts and opened my book , when I hear my friend calling her son , “ Time to go home  and if you come now , then you will be able to watch some T.V. ".

I smiled!!!!

I wonder whether this “Agreements “will make our lives better or worse?

I closed my book and walked towards my “HOME “…….

A Shoe Story !!!!!

I sit with old albums and go down the memory lane. It’s nice to look back and renaissance the past. Every time I do that I realize that time flies, how much we want it to walk at snail’s pace, it just runs.

Today was yet another that kind of a day ,where I wanted to be happy , sad and nostalgic, I was sitting with my 9 year old  son and going through the old snaps and sharing the stories with  him as to how , when and why was the pictures taken .

And we came across, a snap where we all had gone for a family picnic.

It  was bright sunny day, we had planned a family outing .We all were ready; accept for one person, my 4 year old son.

He was trying since last 15mins to try to wear his socks on his own; all our efforts to try and help him were unsuccessful.

His response was set. “NO!!! I want to wear  them on my own “!!!

To avoid the hue and cry over the whole episode, we all decided to be spectator of his effort.

Finally the ordeal was over , and he could manage to wear them , “ Not so correctly “ but  all the effort of pulling and pulling and only pulling had reached the finale.

We all applauded and he smiled!!!

He got down from the bed, and started walking towards the shoes I managed to reach them before him, so that I can make him wear them and we could leave for the picnic which was delayed already.

Now , started  the snatching of the shoes, reason  he wanted to wear them on his own , I knew he learned to wear the Velcro shoes on his own and  would be quick in doing so , but my concern was he loved to wear the shoes in the wrong leg, and I was always worried that it would harm him .

I grabbed the shoes made him wear it as fast as I could, held him from the hand and said “We are getting late, we need to go NOW!!!”

And there, the big hue and cry started, the one which I was trying to avoid during the socks episode and specially in front of my parents, because you are always doing the “Wrong Parenting “in front of them, the grand child is always right, because he is just a child and does not know what he is doing, we are adult parents and we need to do all the understanding!!!

But can we ever, win against kids, I guess “NO "!!!

I gave up!!!!

“CORRECT MAMMA “!! Was his response when he changed is shoes in his respective wrong legs.

I looked at him, and made my way out obvious to all that I was upset!!

I could hear my husband tell my son,” See Mamma is upset; you know why because the way you are wearing you r shoes it will hurt you after sometime.

I had started loading the things in the car, and I had a pat on my hip,I turned, and saw my son standing right behind me, “Sorry mamma” he said.

I adjusted his socks and corrected his shoes!!

He kissed me and hopped into the car!!!!

I smiled.

I returned from the flash back, when my son told me that it was time for him to go down to play!

I asked him to help me pick the albums and put them back!!!

“NO, Mamma, not now I will be late “he refused

“OK!!! GO!!!! “ was stern reply . I was a  bit upset with his denial to help me and started picking the albums from the bed.

Suddenly after a while, I got a pat on my back, I turned to see it was my son , who was standing with few snaps which were lying on the carpet near my bed.

We were almost done, the room was as before, but he stood there, as if I was missing something.

He looked at me, and then down!!!

I followed his eyes, and looked down ...

He was wearing his shoes in wrong legs and his socks clumsily worn.

We smiled..

 I bent down, adjusted his socks and corrected his shoes this time with laces...

He kissed me and rushed out of the room.

I stood there, with tears rolling down my eyes!!!!

Reality

It was late Saturday evening and I was sitting thinking about all that I have to accomplish in a week ahead. Plan my mother’s visit to Muscat , classes I have to attend, articles which I needed to finish ( lying on my desk for a long time now !! ), the grocery list which was nicely stuck on my refrigerator and so on . Not to mention, the minutiae of calls, emails, face book, whattss app (how can we forget that, after all it keeps us connected to family and friends whole day long).

Do I need to mention how I felt, obviously tired, overwhelmed, totally self absorbed and Incapacitated?

Result, today morning I was awake around dawn, sitting in the gallery feeling the gentle breeze which brushed my face now and then, the dew drops on the plants made me smile. I took some deep breaths and instead of heading back into the room decided to do some meditation and watch the sun rise.

We all  rise to  the new day with lots to do and I am no different .Anticipating the day which had just began ,today I had to finish the grocery shopping , pen down a new article , had some fun activities for my son and most important had to take my walk.

The same circumstances which seemed scary, daunting and impossible to manage a night before appeared to be filled with potential in the morning.

Now,

I am doomed- or I am just lucky,

I will get sick – or I will just feel great

I will fall – or my day will be full of promise.

My mind full of thoughts!!

There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so ---

These were my thoughts and viewpoints but I term then a little differently I call them as Good Reality and the Bad Reality.

I would rather be in the good reality, the positive, pleasant and the reality which is full of possibility.

With shinning sun,   chirping birds, easy fun flowing life.

Yes problems exist, but if there were no problems we would have never learnt the importance of challenges and never would have learnt how to fight and overcome the challenges.

I as well drop into Bad Reality sometimes, I feel weighed, down, inadequate and powerless at times.

The sun seems nothing more than a gloomy fireball, surroundings are moarse, difficult life which is stagnant.

I can't find my spirit and energy seems to be lost. But I know I can handle it!

When I ponder over, is it a choice I think and it is my viewing lens that changes my experiences.

When I slip back sometimes on my own stream, I change my mind or laugh even do both sometimes. when I feel too tired and can't find my way back. I take rest, take that time-out for myself with a steaming hot cup of tea it’s kind of “I am back to myself “ and Good Reality seems to return.

I keep experimenting with reality, the external world changes, each time, and each day through my viewing lens. Question is can I cross over and how fast. The belief, that by changing my thoughts I can change the Reality and I do manage it but not always!!!!

How about you all? Which reality are you in now?