Y Worry

“I know worry works because nothing I worry about ever happens “. 

Worry is a silent killer, like a slow poison.   People say it’s a chronic illness, an illness which is dreadful than physical illness, because it not only effects our body but our mind too.

Frankly speaking , I also worry a lot – about the most significant things to the big things like , health , relationships , finances  -  I worry a lot !!!.  And guess because I spend so much time worrying, the particular quote attracted my attention, and my thought train started its journey!!!

Actually yes, if we think seriously we would find that it is really no use worrying about anything. It’s really foolish to worry about past or future. Nobody can change the past. What has happened has happened. As far as the future, then something that has yet not arrived, why would we let it affect us?  Many things which are going to happen will happen no matter what!! If it is going to rain, it is going to rain!!! We cannot stop it...

What has yet to come, the things we have yet to face, why spend time in worrying, and it only tires us and diminishes our competence to clear thinking and planning. Believe you me, problem solving only requires clear thinking and planning.

The things that seem today very big and important will seem trifle tomorrow. Why worry about spilled milk, or a broken glass, or a missed plane!!!

Of course, nobody worries for the sake of worrying .it comes into the mind, then decides to stay on and never leaves.  But there are people who never worry, and I wonder why can‘t I be one of them, I feel worrying is more like a bad habit, and like all habits, habit of worrying is also difficult to get rid of.

 I decided to take up a project (kind of personal project) to stop worrying and be happy.  to start with I have decided to choose one of the three things : to address the issue on hand then and there, if  I cannot do anything about it at that moment, give time to address it later, or decide it’s not at all important and let it go !!!!  To make it simple, 

Act on it, file it or throw it away!!!!!

Maybe my research project on worry will help me to lighten up, smile, and live each day in such a way.

I f you are worrying, bring to a halt your thoughts for a moment and try to snoop to the sounds around you, try to  give thought, and be present to this key moment.

Smile for no reason what so ever, you may find that's the best reason of all.

A Year Wiser !!!!!!

I celebrated my birthday a few days ago and I’m glad that times have changed those old beliefs, when celebrations were mainly to ward off evil spirits, which got attracted to people on their birthdays and to protect them, friends and family visited the birthday person, so to bring him best wishes and good.  To me there is nothing more fun than Happy Birthday greetings among friends and family who care… 

Birthdays are strange things, when we are young we can’t wait for them. And when we are older, we pretend they don’t happen J.

I remember when I couldn't  wait to reach 10 (guess the double digit excitement !!), and then 13 ( yes the pleasure of reaching the teens !!), 18  so that I could drive with a license ,( though was riding my sisters two wheeler well before illegal of course !!!!) and then when I reached 21 I was happy that I had the right to vote ( show off the rest that black dot on the finger which marked that you are an adult with a right to vote !!).

As we get older, our birthdays seem to lose their sheen I know many people who prefer to ignore their birthdays. Why do they do that?? !!

I believe that it’s a dishonor to ignore the opportunity to reflect upon the years which have gone by, birthdays are the cherished reminders. It’s less about gifts but more about sitting with loved ones and navigating through all the milestones which you could achieve and also reflect upon those bumpy and bouncy years, when you struggled. And I am sure there would be plenty to talk as well as laugh about.

We have to be real, it’s a birthday and how much one tries to ignore every single person wants it to be celebrated.  

Life is too short, and time is moving faster. And with each passing year, try to change the landscape of life for you and for the ones who matter to you as well.  Birth is the beginning of life ,  so on each birthday ( think of it as a significant occasion !!!), be thankful for coming into this world and accomplishing what all you could and what all you have in your life.

So, now when it’s your birthday, gather family and friends and celebrate. Celebrate the fact that you have lived and learned one more year!!!!  That‘s what I do on my birthday’s!!!

After all on each birthday you don’t become older, you become wiser!!!!

What more can one ask of a birthday!!!!

Fly or Be Invisible!!!!!

Few days back we had invited some of our friends over at home, and apparently on their arrival and being asked about my son, I directed them to his room. Recently my son's favorite serials happen to be “Power Rangers “and “Rhykendo “and all super power stuff. (chhota bheem , tom and jerry  happens to be kiddy  stuff now a days for him !!!) . On reaching his room , my friends husband saw him watching some super power serial ( I am a bit to bad at the names !!!!).

I couldn’t hear their conversation, as got busy with the guests in the living room, but after a while when my friend’s husband returned to the living room; he had that smile on his face. On asking what made him smile, he said “I asked your son, if he got a chance what super power he would have, ability to fly or to be invisible? He was very clear, he wanted, TO FLY!!!!  It was no surprise for me, as he is a physical child, as is always on a goooooo!!!!!

We all had a hearty laugh at the conversation they had and at the same time, the same question became the point of discussion among the adults. We started wondering, what would we choose?

To me it seemed no brainer, to fly most definitely!!!! (Each one had their own choice!!!)

To me ability to fly offered a lot more fun, adventure, freedom. The thought of just being able to go anywhere, anytime (without gas, without traffic jams,); you are there in a split second!!!!

Being invisible, offers range of opportunities as well, but to me it just seemed a bit sneaky (or guesses I was a bit uncomfortable thinking about it!!).

When we all were sharing our thoughts on the question thrown, I started to think, what does our choice say about us? It actually revealed more about us, our choices reflect us isn’t it!!!

All the men sitting in my living room, choose to fly and most of the women wanted to be invisible (no surprises why??). All the men wanted to reach everywhere faster and without traffic jams and hassles and women wanted to be invisible so they can sit and listen to what is being said about them!!! 

My 6 year old  who had just entered the living  room with his friends , happened to hear us  , and said “ Ahh , you all are talking about the superpowers, but they use it to help others !!!

We realized that , we were discussing about superpowers and how it can be of use to US, not to help others  !! 

Though this could certainly, appear to be superficial topic and question, but definetly led to a deeper discussion!!!

What are your thoughts? What do you think?

Which one would you choose? What would you want your kids to have?

Give a Smile

The morning sun was bright and shinning I was on my morning walk as usual, it has been 2 years now  I have shifted to this  premise, I am neither known to all by name, nor are they to me. I do come across  familiar faces every day ,  but even if I try to smile, few  just pass by not noticing  with their heads down ,and  other few, there is just a blank look on their  faces , with an expression  “ What !!! Do I know you? Am I supposed to laugh back!  Are you expecting me to Smile back at you?

The only thing which is common among all of us was we all have head phones plugged in our ears.

This made me think, in today’s world of technology we do not have ample opportunity to get personal. Life has become so fast paced and everyone seems to be in the rush. We spend long hours working on the computers, playing games on PSP’S or android phones. Even a smallest of the task on the list which we need to get it done, we email it to the colleague, who sits in the cubicle just 3 feet away from us. The long phone calls have reduced to a line on the walls or like buttons on the social networking sites.

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology. I can not imagine every being without my phone ,my laptop and I am equally guilty of spending large part of my day working on line .There is a never ending list and I can expound on the many benefits that technology has brought into our lives. How ever, as a result of the technology in today’s world, our personal touch with one another is reducing .We humans are becoming strangers, we have started existing and stopped living.

I have experienced myself ( and I am sure , many of you would have too), even if we make a call to talk for a small thing, the instant response would be ,” hey why did you call , you could have just whattss  app me “ or “ just an Sims would have been fine , there was no need to call “. I feel, did I do something terribly wrong by making that call, or talking over the phone is not the in thing now-a-days, what? What is it? Am I losing touch with the fasting moving techno savvy world?

We were taught since our childhood, when a smile comes from a person you should resciprocete with a smile back, it’s a natural inclination and you do that without giving it a thought. Smile has completely taken a back seat. We just have forgotten what smile can do!! (Just try to fiddle with your phone or iPod or whatever gadget you have, when you want to ignore a person or a looks simple!!)

I don’t mean to imply that giving and receiving a smile is the solution to the world’s problems but it is definatley a good way to start. Sometimes a small smile can start a conversation, which can become an enjoyable experience. You might just end up getting a friend, for a lifetime with just that one smileJ. We all need to feel that sense of belonging after all we are all the members of the same human family.

There is a power in the smile; it is as though that instant someone waved a wand and all the drudgery disappeared. You no longer feel frustrated instead you feel warm and the person who offered a smile just turns from a stranger, to be wary kindred spirit

We should feel moved to embrace each other in our hearts and minds. So go ahead and smile you might not get a smile back, but your smile might just make their day!!!!!!

Cross Culture

Few days back someone asked me, “Oh, you and your husband belong to different cultures? How did you manage? “What does culture mean to you?” And my answer was a Bowl of Salad... you can have a green bowl of salad with a normal dressing or you can have a bowl of fruits, more colorful and pleasant.

With the surprised look, the person stood there in front of me for a while and then made his way towards other guests after a while, it made me smile and think at the same point, that was it really a big thing that I belonged to a different culture. (After all these years of marriage, the question raised lots of questions in my big head and small brain!!!).

Culture can be defined by many words but if you really think hard, culture is nothing but values, traditions, rituals, morals, beliefs and sum of all the knowledge which is learned, acted upon and then finally shared and transmitted to the next generation by means of workplace, house, educational institutions or government.

Culture gives us and identity and a label nothing else. Culture describes in many ways how the human beings express or behave for the purpose of uniting with others. Forming groups and distinguishing them from other as unique.

When I said, a green salad bowl means (to me!!) a culture where people isolate from other and prefer to stick to their own values and ethics. For them rest of the other culture is of no value and their culture is the only one which is existing.

Whereas, a bowl full of fruits counterparts the most in word or the catchphrase of today ‘Cross Culture’. Where people from all different types of backgrounds and diverse thoughts unite and make a bowl more colorful.

It is so normal of anybody to think of others way of dressing to be weird, bizarre food habits, strange beliefs and unusual language. We find all that strange and are not ready to accept them as they are. It’s really disappointing to see that we fail to understand others and their point of views, and generally draw our own conclusions.

Why not try to diversify because to some the taste of a green salad bowl would be the best but to some it may not be?

Why not try a bowl of fruits, because culture differences will not separate us from one another, it will only bring us near to other cultures and explore it.

Cross Culture is definitely today’s ‘buzzword’, but still there are lots of people who are uncomfortable blending with one another in marriages or even a workplace.

I am happy with a decision I took , 9 years ago , a life partner who is from a different culture  , and today my son is not restricted to the only so called “ GREEN SALAD BOWL “ but enjoying "FRUIT SALAD BOWL".

My Article @Triond

How do we become happy? The question still remains and the answer to that I guess is, you don’t have to have the best of the things in the world, but it’s about doing the best out of every single thing you have.

Read more: http://socyberty.com/philosophy/what-is-genuine-happiness/#ixzz25V3FVS58


http://socyberty.com/philosophy/what-is-genuine-happiness

My Article @Yahoo Voices

Failure has turned out to be the greatest motivators for all. People who have tasted failure would never want to taste it again in life. It motivates one to do better in life and do it with their whole heart and soul. One should never forget that the great achievers have also gained things after few failures only!

http://voices.yahoo.com/change-mind-set-failure-good-11693260.html?cat=70

Happy Friendship Day !!! ( Belated )

LOVE: “Why do you exist even when I do?

FRIENDSHIP replies: “To put a smile where you have left tears.”  (Guess lots of us have read this somewhere!!).

Pal , buddy , companion, whatever you call them , it remains the same : ( as Shakespeare said , “ what’s in a name ? ), it does not matter what we call our friend, what matters is the bond  of love and care we share with each other .

Friendship is the first relation we learn to build as a child, and it’s not taught nor are we aware of it. It’s like a spontaneous urge that we feel. Friendship creates vigor in life and adds color to it, a best gift of god on the earth, is a friend and without friendship life is a like an imprisonment.  I would say it’s the best possession we can ever acquire in a lifetime.

An infrastructure of every relationship is – Friendship. everyone needs someone , that one person who will accept him or her , listen , and let them know they are not alone , that’s friendship is all about = holding the hand when you are empty inside and not standing in the crowd only when you are in joy. Friendship is an unending flow of feelings and emotions. It definitely is not a one way street, it demands commitment from both. The fruits of friendship are always sweet and it would drop from the tree only we are most hungry (I am sure, most of you will agree with me J ).

Friends have always been essential part of my life. If truth be told, they form the heart of my life and not only a part of it.

Though now there are so many attractive and purposeful sites. (All know what I m hinting at yes fib, what’s app bla bla bla J to reunite friends).  ,  I have not been able to keep in touch with lots of old pals  as well as the new one’s I have made   in this journey  of life ( list of reasons are too long !!!  ).

I hope that the friendship gets better every day and get back all my lost friends and some new to enjoy life to the fullest.

I end this post , dedicating it to all my friends , although that I have always found it very difficult to define friendships , I believe that that best things are always best described when they remain UNDESCRIBED.!!!!

Happy Friendship Day!!!!! ( Belated !!)