Parents Not A Burden- Our Responsibility

Today how many of us consider our parents as our responsibility, I would say very few.

Each of us want to live our life and most of us consider that our old parents the cause of our mere existence in this world are just burden and nothing else! They made us what we are today and we are the one who are responsible for their future.

Parents have never thought back to give us the smallest pleasure in the world , though that was not very easy for them but just to see that smile on our face they would to anything . They took our hand in the childhood because we were learning to walk, they taught us how to overcome the obstacles and go forward, but what do we do now when they have not remained so strong to walk on their legs...Do we give them our hand? Or give them a stick and say walk your way.

Some have gone to the extent of putting their parents in Old Age Homes… I ask why???? Just because they are now physically and monetarily weak the children think that it's the destitute of the parents to die and leave them there and get rid of their responsibilities towards them…. How ungrateful the materialistic word has made us?? Why can't we balance the professional and family life? They gave us a world to live in and today we give them a room and say this is where you belong. How disgusting on our part.

But "NO "we want our own independence. They have spent so many sleepless nights catering to our needs without complaining and when they need us in we run away from them to find our own peace.

The joint family system is almost fading away, and with the nuclear family concept coming in where the husband and wife both are behind earning money and in return neglecting their parents and in laws respectively. And if the parents are staying together then they are treated no better than the servants to take care of their children.

We should not forget that getting old is a process of life. It's a circle which will come to us also, today our parents are old tomorrow we are going to be old. What we do to our parents may come back to us from our own children.

So it's high time for us to understand our responsibility and start becoming a parent to our own parents… as that's what they need in these last years of their life, love and caring of their dear ones..

I thought of sharing this with you all simply because I was watching a movie called UMAR ...and remembered about this article, (I had written  this article in 2009, on article base at that time I was inspired to write about it, by an old man who had asked for a lift on the road whose destination happened to be an Old Age Home ).

Unidentified Washed Object

It was lazy Thursday morning (we have Thursday weekends in Muscat) the type of the day when getting out of the day requires and extra effort and even when you try to put your feet down on the floor your impulse is to slip under the cover and bury yourself in the blanket.

Reluctantly I left my bed and went straight to my son’s room, just to find that he was not in his bed!!!!

To my surprise, on a Thursday morning my son was up and rearranging his stuff and cleaning his room (A bit of difficult thing to handle!!!!!.As this was done without my prompting.

My surprise had now turned into a curiosity. My mother instinct at his best told me this can’t be mere cleaning, there has to be something more to it. On being questioned, ”Why are cleaning your room? “

Without raising the head, from whatever he was doing. “Mummy, you always say clean up, keep things on place. I AM DOING THAT, it was an obvious reply I was expecting.

Anyways which left me with nothing to do or say but leave him with his act as it was time to switch to the role of cook and the laundress ,( its weekend, and house helps are also entitled for their break ) .

I finished the normal chores of the day, and when I went to remove the clothes form the washing machine, there was a thing I could see a along with the clothes, (it was round and did resemble like my external speaker which I attach sometimes to my iPod, gosh!!!! did I put that with my clothes…gush), on a closer, after moving the clothes I realize it’s my son’s Bey blade..(Spinning tops with character names played by boys with a slogan  ... let it rip!!!!!). Now, the morning session of all the cleaning and rearranging falls in place for me.

When I called him to return it, there was a spark in his eyes, a delight which he could, best express was with a hug and questions, Where did you find it mom? I was searching this only since morning? I thought I lost it? You are the best mom ….Thanks!!! Thanks !!!… and he was out of the laundry area. Next I could hear was. 1…..2….3……Let it rip…….…!!!

A long ago I had a friend had told me that “ moms of boys are different “ I did not really get it at that time , but flash forward to the present time , I really get it  , I do .

I always grew up playing, dolls, making them dress up, pretending to be mommy, cradling our dolls. My family is all  a girl family, I have  nieces NO NEPHEWS,( both on  maternal / in laws  side ) . I always knew about girls clothes, laces, ribbons, I knew which color suits them, I knew about Barbie’s; I knew that they would keep their things neatly at the right place, etc. The idea of being a mother never bothered me, as I always thought I have done that with my nieces, (though the relation is different but I know how to be a mom!!)

The problem was when I became a MOM... it was a boy!!

But it clicked!! Yellow dumper trucks, race cars, mud cakes, replaced the Barbie dolls and tea parties

He taught me how to rough house, we wrestle and get tough sometimes. I know about all the superhero’s, their background and I dare not mess it up (Batman does not have super power, but Super man does).

Who says boys don’t care what they look? (Myth of yester years I guess) the other day my son changed 5 outfits before he settled on one.

How to forget, they love to wear ugly masks, superhero costumes, ugly teeth and carry around swords with a never heard background score at its peak.

Everything and anything can become a weapon (fork and spoon, wooden stick, book, plastic).

Whenever hurt , band-aid can fix almost anything , just that they won’t stay for long, you will probably find the used one thrown somewhere  or you might just step on to it if you are bare feet ( gross !!! but true ).

He has taught me how to play in the dirt and run around aimlessly in football. We have bumps, bruises and skinned knees.

I have learnt one thing, your life becomes a contest , who can run faster, who can play  Mario , who can brush the teeth faster, and the moment you think you are about to win , you will hear that the rules have changed and they might just surprise you by saying “ it’s not a contest !!!.

He is a little boy right now as he gets older, my free thinking rebel and hard headed carefree spirited boy will be different.

He is going to be a man one day, all on his own. And while it scares me to think that one day he will fall in love, break hearts, and raise a family of his own. It also brings pride that we are the one’s teaching him how to do it.

My dreams of laces, ribbons, and dolls have been replaced by legos, beyblades, cars, bugs and dirt. But that’s ok there is a mother son bond which is completely indescribable and unbelievable.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not dissing girls or girl moms. I always wanted a girl, or may be still would love to have one. I would have been over the moon happy regardless, I guarantee that I would be singing the praises of  being a girl mom ……I think the bond between a mother and daughter is something incredible and special.

I have realized one thing, it suits me fine, if I have to spend my rest of the life cleaning up muddy shoes, cluttered room or plan a beyblade parties …...

At this moment my house may not be full of frilly and girl’s things but it’s full of laughter and love.

Anyways I just got thinking about all this because of a UWO (Unidentified washed object found in my washing machine).

WHAT ALL YOU MOTHER'S HAVE FOUND IN YOUR WASHING MACHINE ???

Married Best Friends ……….

My husband and I have been married since 8 years now, we have known each other since 10 yrs when we both were working in the same organization and have been inseparable since then. We both have been raised in two different cultures; still on closer look we found that we have a lot of common traits, tastes and preferences.

A marriage relationship is intended to be the deepest form of sharing. There is sharing of communication, sharing of materialistic items, sharing of home and the most important sharing of ourselves emotionally and intimately.

All the sharing in life has helped us both to develop an ever deepening bond between us and encouraged us to be better.

Time has passed in our lives, we have experienced a lot of things together and when I pause and think of all the memories we have made, the good and the bad times that we have shared, the love between us just seemed to have grown.

I always feel lucky to have such an awesome human being as my husband, he is kind, caring and not to mention handsome, funny at times, generous and loving.

In these wonderful 8 years of togetherness, we went through every joy and sorrow, raising hopes and achieving goals.

In him I have found an ally, a protector in whose arms I feel safe, a friend who has been honest and faithful. He has not only been a wonderful husband, but a terrific father, provider and a caretaker.

Yes, there have been times when he is having his own problems at work or fighting his own battles in his mind, which forces him not to be at his best, but as said LIFE’S HOUSEHOLD ISNT ALWAYS PERFECT.

While we do share our joys and have endless conversations about things we like or agree upon. We also scream our hearts out in anger and pour our own buckets of tears when our views clash. The notion that a peaceful marriage is a marriage without any fights and arguments is a fantasy.

The key to a peaceful marriage is never quarrel, but how to quarrel effectively without damaging the relationship. A great marriage does not just happen it definitely requires unrelenting energy, commitment and determination

I am thankful to god, to bring in that moment in life when I met him, as that was the time when I knew in an instance that in him I have found my soul – mate.

It is his love that keeps me sane, and his smiles that assure me that everything is always going to be all right. One of the greatest things I have is the gift of being his wife.

Indeed we are what you call Married Best Friends.