Sunday, December 25, 2011

Time Flies..........

My son is going to turn six in a day. Today when we were sitting and making plans for his birthday bash, I came to a realization that how time has flown.

I have learned one thing that life does not stand still; it is always changing, growing and being renewed. Time has become more infinite and real for me, when I measure it with my sons obvious and visible growth.

It just seems like yesterday, when I held him for the first time ,me and my husband could not believe that we have become parents.

It just seems like yesterday, when I use to have those long nights feeding, changing nappies and rocking him off to sleep.

It just seems like yesterday, when we made funny sounds and faces to bring that small twinkle in his eyes and a smile which was worthwhile...
Time moved, and then he started to “babble “those first words, few which were beyond our understanding but, soon started to make sense. Those days just seem like yesterday.

Then the day arrived, the first day of his kindergarten. I was more nervous, and then he was! The initial hours of separation were difficult for both of us, but we managed!!!

Now, he goes to school with his uniform on, bag, books, with all the excitement of a new adventure. Today playing in the sand, going over to friends place and riding his cycle are the most important parts of his daily routine. All this tomorrow are going to be memories again!!!

Today we are the sole decision makers of his life. We decide what is right!! What is wrong! WE ARE HIS CHOICEMAKERS. But soon it’s going to change and he is going to be on him own to face the truth of life.

I believe for a child another year is a milestone they want to clear fast, something they want to rush…
As a parent, it is something I would want to avoid and slow down!!!!
How much we try we cannot stop time, neither we can make it slow down!! What we have today, we should make the most of it, because soon it is going to become distant memories.THATS LIFE!

Time is flying, it has flown and it will keep on flying. So enjoy today, that’s what I am doing at present making a moment, a memory which I will remember years from now reflecting on how time has flown...

Monday, December 12, 2011

Choices And Decisions

Life has been like a road, some roads are big, and some are small. Some are straight and some are topsy turvey. As roads would have it, there are crossroads in life as well. The most confusing, baffling, difficult whatever you call it, is the crossroad in life.

When we face a crossroad, the mind comes to a standstill as to which road to take?? Which road is going to take us where!!! There are few roads which will lead you to happiness, fame, glory, fortune but on the other hand there are few which would take you towards sadness, failure, defeat, disappointments. We have to decide which road we would take with completely no clue where we going to land at the end!!!!

No assurances No guarantees!!

Since life offers us no guarantees and assurances, it’s better to take that risk and make that decisions because unless we don’t decide, and go that way we will never know whether the decision was right or wrong !!! Isn’t it!!

Instead of standing on the crossroad better to move forward. It’s not always that the road which we think is right for us is going to give us happiness, there are certainly going to be heartbreaks. You might not achieve what you had thought, but at least you tried. We really do not have power on the outcome but we definitely have the power of our decisons.

Taking risks, does not mean to decide in the spur of a moment!!!! Think and then move forward.

If we had known that the road we are choosing is a wrong one and it can make us lost, or the outcome is going to be bad, we would have never decided to go that way. We will only know about the outcome once we walk that road, whether the decision was correct or worthless...

When we have to choose, we need to analyze the options we have, sometimes the options are many, sometimes very few and sometimes none at all. We need to weigh the pros and cons, make option of our own if we don’t have any!!! But at no point take decision haphazardly.

We cannot find that confidence to decide at times, especially when we have no idea what the consequences are going to be. Trust yourself and think that it’s the best decision at that point of time. Do not regret it whatever the outcome, learn from it and make better decisions in future. Always remember life will give us more chances to make right decisions.

And after all, I believe it’s all the matter of perspective, as to what you want to be a lost traveller or accidental tourist, because you never know which road opens which new horizon !!!!!!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Stay At Home Mom ......

Today when I meet people and during the conversation, when I tell them, “I am a stay at home mom “. I get that “LOOK “, the look kind of there is something terribly wrong with me ...

I get to hear the comments, like Oh!!!!! How could you do that??? All the time with the kids... naah I cannot do it /or my brains would be just so scrambled if I had to do that, / I have a career for which I worked so hard , I would not leave it to be a stay at home mom !!!!!

Time and time again, these comments made me wonder and think about the days of my childhood and as a matter of fact not all but most of us and our childhood and our mothers. I guess, in those days mothers stayed at home. They were there for us all during those times when we did things for the fist time, those weird reactions we gave on exploring new stuff, to console our fears. They did all this with choice and desire and not out of compulsion .

So what happened now? Why in today’s society, stay at home mom is a rarity!
Today‘s mother, wants to prove it to the world, that “we can have it all “. A balanced family life with a great career, and I am sure that most of them, are able to do that as well. But May I ask at what cost?

In the race of proving and achieving, an ideal family concept is lost somewhere. Ideal families where there is a working father, stay at home mom and kids. Now we have a workaholic father, a workaholic mother and kids who are looked after in a daycare!!!!

I am sure when we decide to bring a child into this world; it’s our decision to become a “MOTHER”. In the chase to reach that peak in the career and gaining the financial stability, we leave them to the people we don’t know, since when did it become OK to have other people take care of our child???

I was at a budding career and had my own financial freedom as well, but I had decided that when I will have a kid, then he/she will be the topmost priority in my life and my own life will have to take a back sit for a while………is something wrong in it. I always tried to do my best in whatever I did, and believed that my child also deserves the that 100 percent of my best… which meant BEING THERE ALL THE TIME…….

In the process, I may have lost or missed on few things which come in the accomplishment lists of few people, but when I see my 6 yr old child, I consider him to be my true accomplishment. I may not be contributing to the family in any monetary ways, but my contribution exceeds that, from the crack of a dawn to ebb of the night, caring, loving, playing, feeding, listening etc. it’s hard, damn hard with weeks, months and years that leaves you exhausted and emotionally drained as well at times. Yet it is worth it. It’s rewarding at the deepest level, forging a bond of a lifetime. I wear a badge of stay at home “MOM “with honor.

With all the due respect to all the working mothers out there (no offence intended to anyone!!), but just to prove a point that...

There is nothing like “JUST “stay at home mom. It’s a 24 hours job!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


There is an amazing world outside. The world of joy, happiness and success. Still we are always unwilling to step outside our self created boundaries, the so called our COMFORTABLE ZONE……!!!!! Each of us have limited our life a certain area, or say to certain way of living. We get so disturbed when there is a bit of a change in normal routine.

We have started living, a life in a box. However, all the boxes are not the same. The size varies and so do the walls of the boxes. People tend to live in these boxes, no matter how tiny they are with their needs, want and desires from life and they tend to grow also over the years. But they are unwilling to break out that box and aim higher.

Even people who are millionaires live in their boxes; just that the size of the box is a bit bigger…….The idea is to say that, no one can achieve anything in life, if he is contented with himself with what he has and where he is... Even the millionaire has to break his box and step outside to become a billionaire.

The constraints which is created in our mind, stops us from seeing what’s outside.

Sitting where we are and telling our self that, this is what is destined for me is just going to limit us. We need to open our mind make it more flexible, let the ideas pour in from outside, let the knowledge and openness make its way inside. Expand your thoughts, widen your horizon. The end result of it would be that the boxes you are living will expand and the self created walls will become thinner. Only to make us realize the reality bringing us closer to the dreams.

It is difficult to shatter the box we are living in, that can be done by highly enlightened people. We can at least, increase the size of the box that we are leaving in. reflect the thoughts in your mind

Do you find any such factors that limit your thoughts? If so try and eliminate those thoughts that are limiting you, to expand and fill yourself with thoughts that will empower you to reach out your goals.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

One Life .... why so serious ???

Have you ever thought that god gave us birth has human and human beings are the only species to whom he gifted the right to choose happiness. Now you believe it or not we have become the most serious living thing on this beautiful earth.

“Don’t take life too seriously. You will never come out of it alive; this was said by a Hubbard. A life is electrifying; thrilling experience, then why makes it boring and sloppy.

You have this one life and that is it. This is the moment, try to live at the fullest and make the most of this one life because , whether there are rebirths or reincarnations that’s a different story , but we have only this one life and we should live it at the best without any regrets.

Joy… the only opposite of seriousness!!! The creatures are like birds, animals can’t be serious one because they can’t express it, and secondly they live in the moment so they are always happy.

We have made seriousness the way of our life, we think that if will not understand the situations worth then people will think we are the biggest show offers, few may say we have do not have any respect to life.

But that’s their opinion; in my opinion enjoy life and all that it has to offer because. “They lived happily ever after “is not the ending of the fairy tales only it should be the sole purpose of every ones’ life.

The people who have only learnt to sulk in life and live with grumpy faces, they are spending major part of their lives sobbing, whereas those with happy state of mind and body take the challenges of the life with a great spirit and they are the ones who have understood the mantra. “ONE LIFE – WHY SO SERIOUS?

Saturday, November 19, 2011

What Does Life Mean To You ???


A strange question isn't it ? Yes , it may sound weird, but have we ever sat back at thought that what it actually means to us or we are just living each day as it comes by !!!!!

" Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams ."

This is what life is to me .......

What is it to you ????????

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Friendship - A biggest Treasure

I recently have come across my old friends, with whom I had lost touch over the years. Some are my school /college batch mates, some my colleagues with whom I had spent my few years working I have remembered all of them in some way or the other , by sharing what all we did with the new friends I made along the path of life.

But still they feeling of getting in touch with them again and remembering the old days really brought the thrill back in me and made me think , what a wonderful thing it is to be a FRIEND and how beautiful is FRIENDSHIP.

Friendship has certain status in our society, it is in contrast with all those relationships over which we have no control or may be a little control. The families we can’t change, neighbor’s who irritated us, and colleagues with whom we have to put up with, friends are the only freely chosen part of your life and it’s assured that those relationships are most pleasurable.

I would say friendship is just a simple bond which two people share who like each other’s company. It is definitely full on hidden assumptions and lots of unspoken words. There is no argument as to what all friendship involve, or what when it gets a little sour (as it may get sometimes), and what if you are hurt. It’s a delicate affair and I suggest why to load it with lots of demands, it’s better to absorb the hurt and retreat.

If you ask people, they define FRIENDSHIP in many ways. For some its loyalty, for some it is something which has no obligations, some would say it is more important to them then their marriage /family, few would say they would die for friendships and for few it would mean nothing at all.

Most of us feel pride about their friends, at least I do. We should be pleased that they chose you to be their friend and vice a versa. I believe that the friends reflect some important truth about who you are.

Have any one of us ever thought where do we fit in this friends lives. There is a huge uncertainty, because many of us are just connection threads. And in this absence of uncertainty and assumptions sometime we get horribly surprised!!!!!

How many times you have seen that a person who is on the top of the friend list and just one small thing or may be a big issue, the person is out of the list. OR
When you expected the most that your friend would stand by your side in your rough times and you have realized that they have all withered away.

Friendship use to be different in the past, friends use to meet often, exchange wishes and had loads of aquatancies. But today the meaning of friendship and friends everything has changed. If you can join for a drink over the weekend of course, “YOU ARE GREAT MATES “.
or for how many of us friendship has meant that caring for each other, taking care of each other children when required.

We can start to thinking about it and being more honest about our own self and what we like about our own friends, what needs they fulfill and what we are prepared to do for them.

We should create this powerful bond. It isn’t easy as friendship is as subtle dance. We all have to understand that people are unpredictable but we have to play the game of friendship .people with friends tend to live longer then the ones without, that’s what the study has said.

After all friendship defines what it means to be human.

Down the Memory Lane !!!!!!

Going down the memory lane is not an everyday routine; it’s definitely not something which we all do every day. But I am sure, we do have some days where we do think about them, what we were years or should we say decade ago… (Guess most of us do!!!!)

I have a dedicated time for myself, the time that is for only for ME. This unwinding time, as we call it generally is listening to some of ghazals, (Jagjit Singh for sure) in the background and reading or sometimes just sitting in front of the IDIOT BOX n surfing through the channels and not to forget about the 3 largest country in the world “FACEBOOK “(it definitely has made me get closer to my lost buddies).

Today, I happen to find a friend and a colleague on face book and after exchanging the normal greets, talking about how we both have been all this years and where we have been … so on and so forth ….. We started talking about the good old days. The days when we were young, the life which was full of freedom, very little responsibilities or can say none actually!!!! . Those challenges to strive in life and achieve something, striving for that success in the career and most important the wait for those pay cheques at the end of the month (though the 4 digit ones) at the end of the month but mattered so much in those days... isn’t it!!!

This small conversation, did take me back into those yester years making me more nostalgic the whole day!!!!!

I have been missing my home … my friends and lot many things the whole day. My mind was wondering around those days when going for a movie did not need any planning, suiting at a coffee shop with friends for hours was like a ritual. When I started working, getting up at 4 o clock in the morning to join the shift at airport was never difficult; proving the point when needed was never difficult.

With the heart getting heavier, I was trying to actually think what I m sulking at? Trying to find answers, to what actually is bothering me the most, the career which came to n end at its pick? The financial freedom which I had at that time? The friends whom I miss and do not get chance to be with often? Or the life which was less of responsibility, fuss and more carefree..???

Questions are always easy!!! It’s the Answers which are difficult!!!!!

In midst of all these, I realize its afternoon already and time for my son to come home from school and hubby for lunch. Realization of present I guess!!!!
The moment, Tanush walked in the house, surprisingly the mind automatically was diverted to the present.

The sadness and the moments of the past though stayed with me during the day but realization of the fact was also there that you can never reverse the time. The one thing that you cannot do is to step back into the time, but yes what you can do is, think about that time and laugh, cry and nurture it!!!!!!!

At the end of the day as I again sit and watch the idiot box , I get the answer: “To get something in life you do have to give up few things, and I am proud mother and a lucky wife. I have no regrets of any kind today and am happy with WHAT I AM!!!! WHERE I AM!!!!