Monday, December 9, 2013

Who Is Driving Your Life ?

The biggest challenge faced by people in today’s time is the feeling that our lives are just spiraling out of control. The events the circumstances we are in all lead us to a road, a route that has no control over all the misfortunes and wrong doings that has brought us actually to this moment in life.

But do you think that our life can change on its own? The truth is that our life will not change unless and until we take the full responsibility for it. What matters is our ability to respond, take responsibility of the situation rather than accepting any form of blame of the situation we get into.

We have to realize that it’s never the events of our lives, but the way respond to these events will shape-up our lives and create our life. We have to stop being the creatures of circumstances, and start responding to the situation in a way that we want, so that we can take our life where we desire.

It’s high time that we stop blaming any and every thing that happens to us, it’s time we understand that responsibility is not something you have to go out and search, it’s within us. It’s the power that calls on to us and makes us realize that it’s we are to be blamed at to whatever happens to us and no one else. Most of us are conditioned to blame someone else, for all the parts of our life that don’t work. No one else can make us happy or sad; it’s our own self which will do that.

We need to get back behind the wheel of our life, take control and direct the life we choose to live. Do you really think that it’s the conditions of our life that brings us to the state we are in? The answer is a big “NO “. It’s not the conditions but rather the decisions as to what things mean to us and what are we going to do about it, creates the real conditions of our life.

If we keep on blaming someone or something else, we will always remain bound, because we would only rely on something or someone to be responsible for how we feel, for our state of mind and our life. Ultimately it would be that someone who would be running our life and not we!! Instead we should get behind the wheel, and drive our life the way we want to, take it where we need to go rather than going with the flow.

I believe that there are two choices in our life, the conscious and the other unconscious (no rocket science in it!!).  You can go with the flow, sit back, relax and let the events and the circumstances lead the river of our life and take us where ever it wants to go or we can have both your hands on the steering wheel, control your life, we make the decision as to which way we would like to go.

I don t intend to say, by taking responsibility of things, we will be able to control our life completely or we start living in self pity or blame. Yes we won’t be able to control all the events of our life, but we will definitely able to make a decision on which event is important to us, and how are we going to react to it to bring an outcome.

Taking responsibility is all about being in charge, calling out our own shots, create our own world. We need to take that shift in the thinking and behavior. To turn problems in to opportunities and that the key to turn the ordinary life to something called extraordinary.

We win some we lose some, hence winning and losing in life is an internal game, no one can take our responsibility or no one can give us responsibility. it’s like an internal process ,a switch within us that only needs to either be turned on of turned off.

Life for sure is an amazing adventure, but only if you perceive it to be one, we are the ones who get to steer the ship of our life and direct the course. We won’t be ever able to control the wind but what we can do is direct the sail.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing – Helen Keller

What is it for you??

Monday, December 2, 2013

Lost & Found

At the end of the day, as I sit in front of my television set, hop to my favorite music channel and start reading my book from where I had left. 

Ok that’s, my normal routine at night, once I put my son to be bed. I call it as “Me  Time "…..

I had just finished reading a page and my eyes moved from the book to the television set , my uncles favorite song was being played ,” Yeh Zindagi Usiki Hai , Jo kisi ka ho gaya “ …. .  It has been 7 years, my uncle passed away, but whenever I hear this song, it brings smile on my face ….

I started listening to music, because of him ,he use to have a Murphy Radio , with him and me as a child use to be either in his lap, or playing around listening to songs and this was the first one which he had taught me to sing …..

The song reminded me of collection of all my uncles’ favorite songs, was with me in a CD …!!! I remember sitting with him for hours and compiling the whole bunch of songs.

Where was it? I remember I had taken it as token of his memory? Where did I keep it? I suddenly had that urge to find the CD, in the middle of a night.

It was not there in my cd rack, cd covers; none of the drawers had it either!!!!

“No I could not have thrown it by mistake also”!!!  How can I miss his writing on the CD!!!

God!!! What an IDIOT I have been!! “I cursed myself. How can I misplace it???

I switched of the television, walked to my son’s room just to check on him before I retired for the day.  I was about; to close his room door and I had that voice from within, as if someone telling me to check my son’s drawers. I did exactly what my mind and heart told me to do. And there in one of the covers, it was shining brightly, written with a black marker on it “MY FAVORITES “!!!!!

Going down the memory lane is not my every day routine, it’s not something which we do every day, but I am sure, there are some days when we do think about our old times…

I guess, today was that day for me …..

I grabbed the CD, rushed to the room, slid it into my player and pressed the “play" button. while listening to the songs, tears rolled down  my eyes, with the thought , that though my uncle  has passed on to the other world , what remains with me is the fragrance of his perfume and hair cream which made a fantastic combo , coupled with the smell of cigarette smoke to his clothes. Which I will never forget!!!!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

The Call

It was suppose to be a lazy day, the day she would love to be in bed till 10 a.m. the day where she does not have to take shower on time, the day when she can enjoy a steaming cup of tea with leisure and not worry about those extra minutes of getting late, of course it was a Sunday. She should be at home ….

But it was different today!!!

She was driving on almost deserted roads, to the office for an uncalled meeting, the meeting which was not scheduled at all, and the one she was not prepared for!!

Ok!! There they were all sitting in the board room, on a Sunday afternoon discussing “important “issue on hand!!!  She had expected the meeting to continue till late afternoon, but it got stretched till late evening!!!

On her way back , she was wondering  what all can be done in the balance few hours of the day left, heart said a lot of things but the stressed mind and exhausted body demanded a relaxing “ shower” !!!
She decided to listen to the mind!!!!

She was entering the parking of her house; it would be around 6.30 p.m.  She received a call from her aunt who stays just a few lanes away. It was a ritual for her to call me on a Sunday, and at the same time. No specific reason for that, it was habit she had cultivated once her husband passed away. They check on how they have  been, they would talk about family issues , do a lot of gossiping and discuss their  plans for the coming week, so on so forth ……

To be honest she loved the fact that come what may aunt would never miss that call!!!

Anyways , she picked her phone and without any exchange of  “ hi’s” or “ hellos “ said “ MASI , I will call you in  a bit , I am just getting inside the house !! And  she hung up...

What she wanted, at that moment was a relaxing shower and nothing else after an “Eventful Sunday “.

When she came out of the shower, made herself a steaming cup of tea, and picked her phone … 

As soon as she unlocked it!!!

38 miss calls in 10 mins, she wondered what was going on !!!!!

She dialed her number... it was ringing …

She dialed again... no response

On her third attempt, the phone was answered, but it was not her aunt on the other side. It was some unknown voice, some unknown person. He was the supermarket guy, from where her aunt purchased the weekly stuff.

He informed that her aunt had collapsed in the shop with a cardiac arrest.

We called you many times, as your number was last dialed from her mobile!!! he said

Yes, I was taking bath!!.. she replied

She noted the details of the hospital, on her way to the main door of the house grabbing the car keys!!!!

On her way to the hospital her mind was full of thoughts...

She recollected that she had not even tried to listen or ask anything when her aunt had called. May be she had called for help. How dumb she had been, on being so irresponsible!!! Hope she is ok? Hope nothing happens to her!!!! Wish had listened to what her aunt had to say!!!

She parked the car, and rushed to the I.C.U, where she found the grocery man waiting, she could not thank him enough for the act of his kindness.  The doctors informed that her aunt was better and responsive, yet they have to keep her under observation for 48 hours.

She looked up and thanked the almighty, who had today in the form of the grocery guy had been there for her aunt.

She has always been termed as a phone flake, she would leave it in the purse, forget it in the car, put it somewhere and then search the whole house, forget to remove from the silent mode.

But after, the incident today she took learning, she would never hang up without even listening what the person on the other side has to say!!!!

She would pick all the calls, at all the times, at all the place, how important or how useless it can turn out to be does not matter. What matters is the “Call “!!!!

By the way, who was that “she “?

That “SHE “was “ME “!!!!!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Life Is Like A Bike

“All right I am trying; just that nothing seems to fall in place “Shreyas slammed the door behind him.

“Let’s go Aakash “he said to Aakash who was waiting for him outside his house to go for the tuition classes.

“What happened? “ Aakash asked. “Nothing yaar “said Shreyas.

“I am just fed up with my ***e…………

 Aakash while fiddling with his bag, searching for something said, “Oh don’t worry dude, everything will be ok it’s just the matter of time.”

“Yes!! I know , it has so many colors but for me  I don’t know  it’s always grey and black .. Shreyas replied.

Dude Shreyas!!! For me it’s black and white.

“Seriously yaar Aakash, you know I really want to climb the most challenging hill, I want to reach the top and keep moving so that the next hill, which comes in the form of a challenge in front of me is much easier” said Shreyas.

Aakash , kept his hand around Shreyas and replied, “ I agree buddy , just keep the momentum going , don’t slow down , just take advantage of the road and keep moving , you can handle it I am sure “.

I just don’t have the courage! Replied Shreyas in utter dismay …

You have all that confidence, it’s your strength. Don’t worry about falling, Shreyas!  Just pay attention, observe things around you and paddle on!! Aakash replied in the most philosophical way!!!

“Everything is very chaotic, yaar Aakash.  I know, all are moving, everyone have their destinations. But the road I take is often full of obstacles. Gruuhhhh… said Shreyas.

Aakash was getting a little perturbed, he said “hey!! Hey!! Dude there is no point dwelling on the negatives. It’s only going to spoil the ride "

It’s just best you ride the Bike ……..

BIIIIIKKKKKKEEEEEE…. Shreyas shouted. His legs were almost glued to the road….

“What bike, whose bike, what are you talking about Aakash???  Shreyas said in a grumpy voice.

“Your bike, who else’s I am talking about  " You are fed up with your bike ……….Aakash replied

What yaar Aakash, I said, I am fed up with my life; you heard my bike…..

God and all this while you have been giving me all the talks on a bike, shreyas said laughing.

OMG!!! Laughed Aakash, I honestly was wondering why the hell you are getting so philosophical about a BIKE………

By this time they had reached the tuition classes, both of them entered laughing their heart out.

On their way back home, they were discussing about the rhymed confusion they had 2 hours before, and how true it is .

Life is riding a Bike, in order to keep your balance you have to keeping moving – rightly said by Albert Einstein.

Life is like a journey you love, hate, cry, and laugh but still live it!!! Isn’t it!!!

 This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Laughter , Learning & Love

My mother comes down to spend a month or two with us, and that’s the time my home is full of pranks. She is 79 years old and my son is 7 years old, to say that generation gap exists between them that would be the last thing I would state.

In addition of both being voracious readers, they both have liking for Bollywood songs, my son is a diehard fan of all the top chart busters and my mother is fan of old classics. Both have embarrassed present day  gadgets very well ,my mother has moved with times I can say and my son , I believe is trying to be a bit ahead of his time. The earphones plugged in and book in their hand is a regular site to watch in my house.

The day, they decide to do something different than usual, then they have me around the house to play pranks on .I would find creepy looking toy insects under my clothes or in the bath tub, or my son would just hide behind a door and wait for me and as soon as I pass he would jump out and scream, “BOOOHHHH “, the result I drop the things from my hand if I am holding something, or just get scared. My mother would put ketchup around her, thumb and pretend she cut her finger..,….and I can just continue the list is long.

I am so aware of the fact , that they might be planning something or the other just to have that laugh and smile , yet  how much I try , not to get scared or fall prey to their pranks , I mostly fall in to the trap.
That day was not different. It was around 5.30 in the evening and we had just finished our tea. I was making preparations for the evening dinner, and suddenly I heard my mother coughing. She is a chronic bronchitis patient; hence her cough syrups travel with her where ever she goes.

“Ma did you forgot your afternoon doze? I shouted from the kitchen.

Mommmmyyyy , come fast , see what happened to mamayji  ( that’s what my son calls my mother ) !!!!!.  My son shouted in response to my question.

I ran leaving whatever I was doing; straight to her room .I see her in the washroom, near the basin.
The basin was full of blood. 

I did not know what to do; there was a blackout for a moment in front of me. I grabbed on the door handle for support and regained  myself.

My son looked at me, and then at my mother, he could not control his laughter, neither could my mother. And I kept looking at both of them; they had nailed it again and were successful in playing yet another prank on me...

“Mummy, don’t get scared it’s not blood, its mamyji’s cough syrup!!!  It was my idea, just to fool you. Please don’t get angry “said my son.

I quietly looked at both of them. I was not sure whether to laugh or get angry.  I just left the room.
My mother was aware, this prank had gone a bit far, she had realized that it had moved me from within; she followed me out, hugged me and apologized.  She loves life, and loves to laugh every moment as and when she can. And I was aware, that she had just become a child today with my son, she did not want to hurt me.

But sometimes, some pranks leave an immense mark on us and even on the ones who play the prank.

I believe this was one such prank. It taught us that even a thought or fear of losing our loved one can do  to us.

That night, I walked up to my mother’s room.

I hugged her and said, “The thought of losing you also scares me ma, I love you.

“I love you too, and don’t worry I am not going anywhere so soon”, she said.

We both smiled.

I kissed her cheek, wished her good night and while closing her room door, I watched her...

She drank the cough syrup and slowly placed the bottle on the table next to her bed, put the plugged the  earphones and started reading from where she had left.

I silently closed the door behind me with a smile!!!!!

 This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The Jacket !!!

That day we were at our eye-doctors clinic. I could see the bad weather ahead as the sky was full of dark and smoky clouds. As soon as we got inside the car, it started to pour so heavily that in a short while   the roads were flooded, the traffic came to a halt. We managed to reach our building gate, after an hour and a half, which otherwise is half an hour drive from the clinic.

As we were about to reach our apartment building, a man came in front of us, totally wet, shivering with cold, trying to push his vegetable cart in the water clogged street. He was walking so slowly, as if in some pain.

All three my husband, my 7 year old son Tanush and I watched him for several minutes, till he managed to pull the cart away from our way so that we could enter the building.

By the time we parked the car, and I could say anything Tanush ran and took the stairs and we obviously opted for the lift. We reached the 4th floor at the same time though.

Tanush rushed inside the house.

“ Dadi !!! Dadi !!!  he screamed .

By now he had already reached, her room.

“Dadi, do you have any of Dadu’s raincoat which is now small for him and he does not wear? He asked in a panting voice.

“No! Dadu does not wear raincoats he wears a jacket “my mother- in law replied.

“Ok, so do you have a jacket?  He asked again.

 I was already near my mother- in- laws room by now and hearing the entire conversation.

My mother in law looked at me; I just shrugged as a response unaware of the whole reason why Tanush was asking for a jacket.

Why do you need a jacket Tanush? I asked.

Dadi!!Fast please search fast – he was jumping.

My mother in law was already, searching something in the heap of old clothes by this time, she removed a jacket in a proper condition and handed it over to him.

Thanks!!!!! – was barely heard by us and he was out of the house.

I never got a reply to my question!!!!!

I was scared and worried at the same time, not knowing what was going on in his mind. So I followed him, grabbing an umbrella on my way out.

I saw Tanush, near the gate talking to the watch man; the watchman held his hand and they both were out of the gate.

My heart missed a bit, I was almost running now.  When I reached the main gate, I was dumb stuck to what I saw.

Tanush was standing in front of that man who we had seen a while ago pushing his vegetable cart .The man had not gone very far, he was sitting under a tree, shivering . Tanush hesitated a bit and then went closer to the man and offered him the jacket.

The man was stunned. He refused at first and then looked towards the gate at me, I smiled. Tanush offered the jacket again, this time he took the jacket with a smile.

Tanush walked inside the building all drenched and wet. He held my hand for a while walked till the lift, and then ran away taking the stairs yet again.

He did not have to explain me why he needed the jacket.

I stood in the lift, with tears rolling down my eyes, and pressed the 4th floor button.

­­­­­­­­­­­­Life is not fair and it will never be!! .

It’s only such little act of kindness, which are neither expensive nor complicated. They just leave a smile on someone’s face and on ours too.

I believe children learn what they live and what they see, so if they live by doing such little acts of kindness, they are quite certain to follow all their life.

I hope my son keeps, following it too and the kindness does not fade away somewhere in this materialistic world.

Iam sharing my Do right stories at in association with Tata Capital.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Footprints In My Heart ...............

LOVE: “Why do you exist even when I do?
FRIENDSHIP replies: “To put a smile where you have left tears.”

Pal, buddy, companion, whatever you call them, it remains the same, it does not matter what we call our friend, what matters is the bond of love and care we share with each other.

Friendship is the first relation we learn to build as a child, and it’s not taught nor are we aware of it. It’s like a spontaneous urge that we feel. Friendship creates vigor in life and adds color to it, a best gift of god on the earth, is a friend and without friendship life is a like an imprisonment.  I would say it’s the best possession we can ever acquire in a lifetime.

Friends have always been essential part of my life. If truth be told, they form the heart of my life and not only a part of it.

When I slip back into the time, yes I have to go years back into my childhood. The time we were all in our pre primary and primary sections …..


Sitting in the circle and eating our tiffin boxes, yet holding the cover of the tiffin box in a peculiar manner so that the other cannot see inside our box. We use to share, the lunch only on being asked what you have got, and with only one condition that we get a share from their box as well!!!

Trying to impress the teacher in the best possible manner so that you become the monitor of the class, and then you had the entire class who wanted to be your friend and you were on everyone’s list of best friends !!!!

I remember we all friends use to wait for each other’s birthdays, why??  The birthday girl, get’s to take one person with her to distribute chocolates to the teachers in the school and we always wanted to be that one chosen one!!! (Made us feel special and the rest a big J)!!!!

When we think of all this now, we laugh over it, but how stupid it may sound now, they were matter of life and death then!!!!

Those were the best days of my life …..

I still remember as a teenager I use to always wonder whom to trust, who would understand me and with whom I want to spend my time. I was the most brilliant person in the world and my parents weren’t. Since texting had not been invented, the one phone, the landline phone, was a life line to my friends; we talked for hours about nothing in particular!!!!

Sitting on the last bench was fun and adventure, bliss of a kind, but why are teachers eye’s always on the backbenchers I wonder!!!

Throwing paper bits on the girls in the front rows and gigging when teacher use to catch them for turning back and being inattentive!!!

Cursed being the lords of the last bench  , when even though raising our hands to answer the question  were ignored and the teacher’s eye met only the one’s in the front row’s.

The best was, the time when you are least prepared, and you hear your name being called out to answer the questions!!!! And the rest of the class is all turned towards you!!!!  “Sorry ma’am “is the answer you have!!!!! Followed by all the giggles including your friends!!! (Only thing on your mind is you too!!! You are my friend!!!! And for the rest, let your time come!!!! )

Taking advantage of your best friend to be the monitor of the class, and taking that extra time to finish the undone homework....

And the day, you seem to be at your worst mood, sleep with your head down and teacher won’t even notice, and by chance she did, your friends spoke in chorus,” she is not feeling well ma’am “!!!!

Making those , great fancy looking scrap –books , and giving it to all the one’s you know , writing the most weirdest things in it and then comparing who has been more creative …….

Those were the best  days of my life ……

When I was leaving for college, I had only one school friend who had got in the same college with me (that was a solace of a kind!!!)  I went with the conviction to the college that my “best pals “are always going to be my school friends, who I grew up with , I shared my good and bad times ( even my those first crush !!!!!!  ). The people I will meet in college are just going to be my “temporary friends”.

But, soon I realized that my college friends have become my real friends too, so what if they were not there with me when I got the first punishment in my school, not there to celebrate my 13th birthday (the entry into the teens!!! as they say), but they were there when I use to struggle with my assignments (majorly statistics!!! ), they lifted me up when the times were tough, they were there to drop me home when it was difficult to get the transport back home.

By age twenty- one, the sweet taste of freedom came along with being a bit responsible. I took up my first job few more after my graduation, when friends got added in the list, with whom I worked side by side and we shared the same goals.

When the chapter called marriage unfolded  and I moved to a foreign land , there I got a I got friends who calmed my fears, shared my joys  (birth of my son, I never felt that I was away from my family, with them being around at that time), my triumphs and failures.

Now, Most of my friends are either entrenched in their careers, enjoying raising kids or even doing both and we do not get to meet each other often.

Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you always know they are there. Friendship is a commitment for life; you cannot treat it as a contract made on paper. But yes it’s a promise renewed every time you keep in touch.

Now with kid and life’s challenges even I really don’t spend much time with friends. I want all of them to know that even we are apart physically and emotionally, don’t talk often or even for years now, I really appreciate and treasure the friendship, joys and sorrows that we shared….

Though now there are so many attractive and purposeful sites. (All know what I m hinting at yes fb, what’s app bla bla to reunite friends).  ,  I have not been able to keep in touch with lots of old pals  as well as the new one’s I have made in my  journey  of life ( list of reasons are too long !!!  ).

Friends are what life is all about.
I hope that the friendship gets better every day and get back all my lost friends and some new to enjoy life to the fullest.

I end this post, dedicating it to all my friends, although I have always found it very difficult to define friendships, I believe that that best things are always best described when they remain UNDESCRIBED.


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Side Effects !!!!

We all have done this before and keep on doing it, planning a vacation whether it is to go explore a new destination or its back to our homeland to meet our family and friends. The excitement is all around us, just with the thought that we are going to be away for few days from the routine...isn’t it??

Well, now what’s the worst part when the vacation ends? Yes!!! Returning back to the mundane life….

The worst part of the vacation when it ends is that if brings along with it, lots of side effects. The good side effects I call them “ memories “ and the bad side effects I call them “ holiday blue s “….

The afterglows of the vacation stays with me for say few days or maximum for a week. Then it’s all the same as before, “Aww… back to work and Isshhhhh the morning alarms!

Today it’s my first day  back to blogging ,  I have been away from my blog for a long time and the reason was  oblivious I was on a vacation with my family. I have been away from my lap top, my writing and believe you me it a little hard to get back to writing!!!!

While I was away, I was able to capture lots of ideas which are stored on my phone. ( thanks to the technology , you don’t  need a paper and a pen , contributing to the go green green in a way !! :) ).

The files on my laptop are glaring at me as if saying, “Why don’t you finish the work you started.”

“NAAH!” I won’t do any of these today , tells my brain !!!

For now let me spend some time playing with my 7 year old son , after all the time spent in his company is the most precious of all , and the rest all can wait .

And then , I will buckle my shoe and take a brief walk, to get that blood pumping in my body and grab some energy ………!!!!!

How do I get my brain to the blogging mode? That’s what I wonder!!!!!
It’s just a matter of time I believe, I would snap out of this mode soon….

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Fantasy Has Reality !!!

Growing up I was always a fan of bedtime stories with my mother, and when I turn back and see I realize that she really picked up some great ones that made lasting impression on me. But how do these stories and characters, the trials and triumphs effect and inform our humdrum lives?

I believe that the fantasy world, can teach as much about life and the world as the course realism. It helps us to be a better person, allows us to explore injustice, cruelty and appreciate beauty and create a hope.
It plays a part of a marvelous mirror, which allows us to see our lives more clearly.

I am sure, you all will agree that in our real lives, we do not fight with evil with glowing eyes, swords and wearing a colorful cloak covering our faces with masks. But at some point in our life we do encounter with evil, we do taste the fruit of injustice. We are in self doubt and despair, and in those times we connect to  these fictional experiences and stories in our day to day life, we kind of relate to it.

There is a certain extent to which the stories we read and the characters we admire influence our behavior. We all have become kings, queens, prince or princess of some land, living in grand palaces, with beautiful gardens in our childhood. They actually shape up our culture.

I remember, reading a parable about Blind men and an elephant, the parable where all the blind men were grasping different parts of the elephant and were describing elephant in different ways. The parable states how we humans grasp different parts of truth and make it one whole and complete truth the way we want to perceive it to be. its only when we are being open to each other’s point of view we are actually able to understand the whole truth . Learning for sure from the parable isn’t it?

The fables, parables, stories and characters mould our values, whatever may be the story about our culture, society, family or nation it has helped us shape our attitudes and who we are today.

For me, stories and characters have been like thought experiments, we believe in them or we intend them not to be, they definitely help use our imagination and create our worlds.

It’s with them that we summarize our lives some fantastic and memorable moments and it’s through them that we learn life enduring lessons.

Fantasy is all about the world we would like to live in, the world we like to be, the dreams we see and pursue.

It teaches us to explore and dream, give it a thought, where would we all be if we never learnt to dream!

This Post is the part of Write Over The Weekend , an initiative for Indian Bloggers by Blogadda

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Friends - God's Perfect Gift

When god created the world and all the magnificent things, he outdid it by creating friends.
A friend is a channel through which emotional spiritual and sometimes physical blessing flow. Life seems pretty boring without friends.

I always had a little bit of smaller bunch of friends and among them there were few who were best friends. But to top it all, among the best lot, I had those few who were closest to me, the ones with who I shared my biggest secrets and was the keeper of their deepest secrets as well. They were the ones who could push me and make me see the best in me.

Why not take this opportunity and thank all those who have been in my life till now as my closest friends.


I met my childhood best friend vedangee in kindergarten. My mother had taken me to the school on the very first day, and left me to the teacher saying she would be back in few hours to pick me up.!!!

Suddenly tears started to roll down my eyes, no it was not tears rather we can put it has a loud sound along with tears which is called “ crying “. I didn't understand why my mother had to leave me with a bunch of kids who were in no better state then I was and a complete stranger lady, who was called a teacher…

Nevertheless, the final goodbyes ended with my mom, and an assurance that she would be back I was walked by the teacher through the class. Our slow and tender steps walk ended next to a small table and chairs where already another girl was sitting and yes who was crying as well !!!.(It was our first day at school!!!!).

I sat next to her and then teacher gave us some crayons and coloring paper. Slowly, the crying faded in the joy of coloring. Both of us knew each other by now with our names... (Also with our nick names).

Soon we had started sharing our crayons, and fighting over who had colored the pictures better!!! .

Vedangee was with me till 7th grade, and we shared a special close relation among the rest.

That’s how I met my first ever friend, who became my closest buddy in my childhood days. She still holds a special place in my heart.

As I grew older I started to appreciate friendships and relationships more in my life. I still remember, I always wondered who to trust and who would understand me better. Then came along in my life


In the 8th grade, all the students were shuffled as per subjects opted and hence it was time to leave behind the secondary school friends while moving on to higher secondary. The day I entered my class I could see few familiar faces among the strangers who were not my friends.

I will have to make new friends “I was aware “but how “I was not sure “. I made my way through all the front row desks which were already occupied and decided to sit on the second last desk. 

A while later, a tall girl with hair plaited. Walks up to the desk, and occupies the place next to me.
Both of us had the same thought in our minds, “Ok, we are going to be bench mates “.

“I always end up sitting at the last benches, because of my height “she said.

I smiled and replied, “For me there was no choice, as the entire front desks are already occupied.

We both smiled …..

By the end of the day, our nerdiness and the craziness for the movies and the admiration for the same movie 
stars made us bond like we knew each other since years. A bond I would say was instantaneous. We bunked classes, when we struggled with assignments we knew we had each other to fall back on, even shared with each other our first crush. (The initial teen age crush!!!).Her family became my second family. We shared our god and bad times, sad and happy moments.

Time does not wait it moves on. She moved to the different country after marriage, but even though it has been years now we have not met, even though we live in two different countries, we do catch up with each other over social sites.

Virtually, every new chapter in life has potential to disrupt friendships. As the chapter called marriage unfolded in my life, I moved on to a foreign land holding hands with my better half, and unknown territory which I entered, hoping to make some new friends…

I truly, believed that through fate and bit by chance, I will definitely find some smiling faces and helping hands… which I did… and among all I found..


It was a beautiful Sunday morning; we all mutual friends had planned a picnic to a nearby dam. It was decided to meet at a friend’s house, at particular time. We arrived a bit late.  You all can imagine if you are a mother of a 2 year old than how it would be?

When we reached the porch of the friend’s house, I saw a couple sitting outside, it was obvious I had never seen them before, thought them to be relatives.

Hi!!  We are sorry, we are a bit late, “I said to the couple.

The lady looked at me, and nodded with a bit of sly smile. I found her to be a bit arrogant at the first look.

On seeing us, the friend came and introduced the couple to us, and said “they are new to the town, so thought to join them along “.

I smiled said “Hi “and the husbands greeted each other with a handshake.

My husband told Annapurna and Ashwin (the couple‘s name) to join us in our car.

My eyebrows raised , thinking, the women carries attitude how am I going to travel the distance with them?

Anyways, the trip to the dam began …

On our way, I came to understand that the reason she was upset was they were informed a wrong time. 

They had reached our friends place, an hour and a half before. The reason of her annoyance now fell in place for me. Even I would have reacted the same way, if I was in her place.

We talked, and talked and talked and it just clicked between us. We shared the same interest, same ideas, same thinking over certain things. The entire picnic, we were kind of glued to each other. Hardly noticing what the rest were up to.

The day came to an end, it was time to go to our dwellings, but it led us to theirs.

Since that day, we had so many outings together, dinners and sleepovers at each other’s house.

We bonded into friendship, but our commitment to friendship made the bond. She knows me in and out and it’s always a wonderful feeling to find that someone knows you better than your own self Annapurna happens to be that someone. A friend you are able to talk to about anything, to feel the unconditional love and acceptance and never being judged.

It never feels like we aren't close, just because we don’t stay in the same country anymore. Though we are apart we have maintained our long distance friendship.

Friends might come and go in your life, they can make us cry and laugh but what is most important is that they love you for who you are. Friendships are not some contract which is made on paper. It is a commitment for life which is renewed every time you keep in touch.

With life’s challenges. I have not been able to keep in touch with my friends, but I want all of them to know that even we are apart physically and emotionally, though we do not talk or have not seen each other in years. I really appreciate the treasure of friendships, joys and sorrows that we shared...

This post is the part of Write Over The weekend an initiative for Indian Bloggers by Blogadda.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

What Do You Prefer ?

The other day, I was at a party sitting with a friend. A lady approached us and told my friend how wonderful she looked and her outfit was really nice, she really liked it. She walked away, complementing my friend, my friend on the other hand leapt into a conclusion that the lady (whom she had never met or known) was being sarcastic and she really got offended by something which was a genuine compliment.

I wondered , at that point of time that if the lady had been actually sarcastic , then may be my friend would have chosen to think that “ she was complimenting  and would have gladly replied “ thank you , I am so glad u liked it “ and would have felt better than how she was feeling right now , almost sulky and angry.

I am really curious we humans, get happy, sad, hurt, etc by someone else.

How can anyone make us really feel things? How do they make us feel happy or sad?

What do they say? How do they say, “come take this tin full of sadness “or they say “Aah today u need a bucket full of happiness, here take it I brought it especially for you!!!?

How I wish I could buy happiness and sadness over the supermarket shelves!!!! How I wish it was that simple.

The above incident and many more made me realize, that we often rely on others to make us feel in a particular way. It’s always because of people, they do something, they say something or they do not say something or they do not do something, triggers how we feel.

When people do things as per our expectations, how we want it to be... we are happy …

But, as soon as they don’t do what we were expecting them to do. We are suddenly hurt and their actions make us sad.

In short, we often try to control other people, in order to control how we feel!! (   I am no different!!!).

But, is it really possible, I wonder!!!!

The answer is “NO’.  We cannot control people. Neither can we force them to do anything, nor assume that they will.

The person, we can control is  " US ". We can control only ourselves.

How can people make us feel certain things, the thing we call emotions.

It’s we who decide to choose how to feel.

It’s we who decide to feel or react in a certain way.

It’s we who make assumptions.

And aren’t we only who leap to conclusions.

No one can ever give us tin of sadness or bucket of happiness. They are within us!!! They are intangible items.

We all have seen cars on the roads, if you see them , they are mere tin boxes moving on the road, but what we tend to forget is that it moves because there is someone inside controlling it.

We often run on an  autopilot theory, and we most of the time forget that there is a “person “inside us who is in control.

Guess its time to take back the control of ourselves. Control how to feel, rather than relying on others.

It has to be your choice – choose to feel bad or choose to feel good!!

I prefer to feel good !!!!

What do you prefer ?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

My Mother - My Academy

Why is it when we were younger we thought we knew everything, yet the older we get the more we realize we don’t know what we thought we knew? Thank God, he gave us all mothers who taught us things in simple and quite ways.

My mother was widowed at age 49 and left alone to raise me, my sister and my brother. She had to quickly learn to do things she’d never done before, but as she was always been strong intelligent, independent lady learning things didn’t take long. Along the life’s challenges, she took one big life lesson with her, the more you do things for yourself, the better. Since then, she taught us to be self reliant and self sufficient.

Always supportive, she clapped loudest at my school plays; held box of tissues while listening to my heartbreaks, confronted and encouraged me when it was needed.

I learned from watching her that no matter what life throws at you there is a choice to keep walking forward or to give up. Throughout my young age, there were several instances when, I felt stuck or trapped in a situation, times when I felt most paralyzed; she reminded me that we always have options. The options might give us setbacks, but they are not insurmountable.

It was this advice that allowed me to make some of the life’s most challenging decisions as an adult. It pushed me to throw my hat in the ring from a high level job and move to another city, it was this advice which made me leave a lucrative career behind in order to follow my passions and my dreams.

This advice is what made me survivor in life, my own little family have learned to survive changes , we have learned that changes bring opportunity rather than being something we should fear.
To sum it up, I would not have taken any of the worthy risk of my adult life without it.

I think lots of us grow up believing that our parents are perfect and then suffer when at some stage they make big mistake, the fantasy is shattered and the damage seems great. My mother always made me realize she was not perfect nor was her life. She always told me “No one is perfect, baby that’s why pencils have erasers “.

I had a complete freedom to try whatever my heart lead me to do , I never had a curfew in my life,  the message said that  “ she trusted me enough to let me find my way “. Guess free parenting at its best!!!!

She gave me priceless treasures, taught me love  and compassion are value that life’s all about,  giving is more precious than even gold, the love and care which I will give will return  to me in ten folds ….
Even if doesn’t seem like it, hard word and perseverance pay off in the end. She taught me the value of guilt and conscious, struggles make us who we are and give us strength to be stronger.
One of the most important things she taught me is “There is only one life for each one of us, OUR OWN “… and live it to the fullest!!!!!

She remains the most loving and giving woman I have ever come across and I am honored to have her as my mother, my siblings and I are blessed, in the way she shaped our lives.
People often ask me how I stay so calm or how I maintain an optimistic outlook and my reply is “it’s all in the genes “ !!!

‘I am writing a Tribute to Mom in association with

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Forgetful Me ............

Forgetfulness hits us in varying degrees and at different points of time in our life , which actually makes us think , and wonder as to  , is it really that we are ageing ( we are told , that with age we tend to forget isn't it ? ) or are we really stressed , too much stressed that we tend to forget things on and off…

Adventure starts in my house early morning with, my husband leaving for the office around the same time when my son leaves of school, so you can imagine, how is it for a wife and mom at that point of time, I am actually multitasking, packing my son’s lunch box, giving the breakfast to my husband, with occasional shouts at my son, “Get ready fast or you may miss your bus “.

After few minutes the house is a silent zone, and that’s the time I sit with the newspaper in one hand and my breakfast in the other. I eat up the entire breakfast, just wondering what is that one thing missing on the table. “Coffee” of course, I realize when hours later, I open the microwave to warm my lunch and see my coffee mug inside.

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

I generally pull my reading glasses over my head, when I am not doing any reading or writing and then race down the entire house trying to track them down, telling myself “Why don’t I keep my things where they belong” and as soon as I bend down to check a particular drawer, they slide down from my head and sit on my nose…….

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

To search for my car keys, is like a treasure hunt in the house, starting from the purse, to the kitchen shelves, near the micro and above the fridge. After a lots of efforts and mournful sighs I go and sit on the sofa in the living room, and there the keys are between the Laughing Buddha statue and the phone , of course yesterday when I entered the house , the first thing I did was , attended a phone call ….

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

The grocery list always seems to be missing from my purse and I always wonder how it finds its way out from my purse!! Cribbing and cursing I manage to fill the trolley with the necessities. I return home and place the grocery bags in the kitchen, walk upon the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water, there I see the grocery list, tucked to a smiley fridge magnet …” viola I never made it to your purse”….

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

Tea parties with friends on a particular day is very much marked on my planner and I read it as a ritual daily, telling myself that I have to be there without fail. The reminder of the same thing is on my phone as well, which I quietly close when it rings. When a friend calls to check how long would I take to reach, as everyone is waiting for me …?  I just realize that I got busy into something else …

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

I wonder, I am starting to lose my brain power, am I really losing it upstairs.
I wonder, what is that I should do?  I think I need to focus, and without any excuses.
I may be forgetful at times, and I can’t rely on people to remind me things or take care of me …..

After all I am grown up now – I have to take care of my memory and myself…
I should take note of it and clip it on my soft board... but where is my Writing PEN!!!

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

This post is the part of Write Over The Weekend ,an Initiative for Indian Bloggers by Blogadda.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

13th May 2005

Indeed A thought provoking question One day that I would want to relive again and again?

To be honest I know I can’t change the past and I have very little control over the future so I normally try to live in the present. But I guess all of us at one time or another have wished we could turn back the clock and relive some moments from the past, perhaps we would have made different choices or maybe we just want to experience the whole thing all over again.

What would I want to relive? 

I have never thought in this way , but today if I have this chance to dream even though I know it’s not real , sort of going back in time I would pick up 13th May  2005 .

I was pulling out of the hospital parking lot, with a positive pregnancy report in my hand. With thoughts of calling my family back home, to tell them about a new addition in the family in few months from now.

Then the phone call came, my brother in law had called to inform that our uncle was serious and was admitted. Everything came to a halt, my mind, my soul and my body. I stood there outside my car , in the parking lot looking at the blue sky and earnestly prayed  to god , who most of the times have fulfilled my wishes.

“He is gone " said my brother in law. I had nothing to say, but to believe that ultimate destiny is to God.

My uncle was close to me after my father’s death in 1995, left us all in the most unexpected way.

I do have regret about me being overseas and I did not have the chance to say even good bye to him.

I want to turn time back, wish I was not miles away on that day.

So many thoughts, so many things left unsaid. I wonder what was in his mind in those last moments he had alone to himself.

How I wish I could be there just in time, to make him live... …

How I wish I could tell him on that day that I was going to be a mother……

How I wish I could show him my accomplishments …….

How I wish I could make him stay to see, the person I have become ……..

How I wish, I could relive that day again and again, just to change the fate……

How I wish that I could rewind the time and relive the last 7 years with him in my life.

But I know, this is just a dream not be to true. Neither the moments gone cannot be relived nor can the people gone ever come back.

Monday, April 22, 2013

A New Life !!!!

The era of 1965 -1971 when in India, losing a husband and to become a widow , was not only a tragic experience for women, but where the centuries old traditions, practices and culture made the life of a widow a hell. The days when widows were forced to isolation and humiliation especially in the rural India, there was a brother who stood up for his widow sister; this is about that man, that brother.

He belonged to the prestigious Brahmin family in a village called Bajna, located around 60kms away from City of Mathura. As the fate would have it, one of his sister was widowed at a very young age, and he was pained to see that his sister was ostracized by the villagers, she was not allowed to attend any community functions, weddings, prayers etc just because being a widow was considered inauspicious and a widow was a “Bad Omen “for all the “Good Things “.

Unable to see the plight of his sister, and the pain which the entire family was suffering .He decided to bring about a change. He decided to bring joy and colors in his sister” Chanda's life.

He thought of getting her “Remarried “.

He knew the road was not easy, and he will have to face a lot of challenges. The first one was the obvious, how would he put the thought across his family. With immense courage he approached his father one day and said “Bauji (meaning father), I think Chanda is too young, she deserves to be happy, and live a life, we should get her remarried “.

The house came to a standstill, the time just stopped there!! Here there was a brother who was talking about remarrying her widowed sister and  in the times where widows were considered pariahs.

The idea was obviously beyond acceptance!! His father said, “Shameful, it would be a shameful act!! I would be admonishing by the entire village, family, friends and community .He would never allow such a sinful act.

The brother was of a belief, that a widow is also a human being and has the right to enjoy her life, including the pleasure of life her own family.

Unfettered he carried on, alone on the road which was not easy and he was aware he would not be able to achieve the success overnight. He kept on searching for a suitable man for his sister, a man who would accept a widow in his life, who would be of the same views that, to become a widow was not a curse and the women had full right to all the pleasures of life. The options were definitely bleak.

God also helps , those who are fighting for the cause and finally he saw a ray of hope and the day arrived ,  the night when he took his sister with him to the temple and got her remarried.

He brought happiness, joy and color back into his sister’s life, the time when a remarriage of a widow was taboo; he showed immense courage and made the most impossible thing possible.

That was his gift to his sister, A New Life.

The brother I am talking about is, no other than, my Father - in –law, Ex Major in the army, a soldier in his real life, turned out to be soldier for his sister and an example for all the other men of yester years as well as today.

He stood up just not for his sister, but all the other widow women who were going through the suffering and miseries of life.

Change is a fact of human life.

There is a change in the way the widows are looked upon now and the incidence of remarriages are showing an increasing trend. I believe that a hundred or a thousand years might be a moment in the life of rocks or mountains, but to change the way society thinks it just needs the thoughts to be changed and that depends on the person.

For me, my HERO is for sure my father –in-law  Ex Major Shivram Pathak.