Sunday, May 5, 2013

13th May 2005

Indeed A thought provoking question One day that I would want to relive again and again?

To be honest I know I can’t change the past and I have very little control over the future so I normally try to live in the present. But I guess all of us at one time or another have wished we could turn back the clock and relive some moments from the past, perhaps we would have made different choices or maybe we just want to experience the whole thing all over again.

What would I want to relive? 

I have never thought in this way , but today if I have this chance to dream even though I know it’s not real , sort of going back in time I would pick up 13th May  2005 .

I was pulling out of the hospital parking lot, with a positive pregnancy report in my hand. With thoughts of calling my family back home, to tell them about a new addition in the family in few months from now.

Then the phone call came, my brother in law had called to inform that our uncle was serious and was admitted. Everything came to a halt, my mind, my soul and my body. I stood there outside my car , in the parking lot looking at the blue sky and earnestly prayed  to god , who most of the times have fulfilled my wishes.

“He is gone " said my brother in law. I had nothing to say, but to believe that ultimate destiny is to God.

My uncle was close to me after my father’s death in 1995, left us all in the most unexpected way.

I do have regret about me being overseas and I did not have the chance to say even good bye to him.

I want to turn time back, wish I was not miles away on that day.

So many thoughts, so many things left unsaid. I wonder what was in his mind in those last moments he had alone to himself.

How I wish I could be there just in time, to make him live... …

How I wish I could tell him on that day that I was going to be a mother……

How I wish I could show him my accomplishments …….

How I wish I could make him stay to see, the person I have become ……..

How I wish, I could relive that day again and again, just to change the fate……

How I wish that I could rewind the time and relive the last 7 years with him in my life.

But I know, this is just a dream not be to true. Neither the moments gone cannot be relived nor can the people gone ever come back.

1 comment:

bellybytes said...

How really sad. I can imagine that regret you have inside your heart that you could not say goodbye.