Monday, September 5, 2016

An Empty Nest



Since morning my phone as been buzzing with pictures, amidst the teachers day , ganesh chaturthi messages , my entire focus was on the messages from my nieces.

They move in to an university campus today, makes me happy as they are going on a different journey all by themselves from today. A different world, different people and the most important different country. But happiness is coupled with sadness, the thought of walking in to my sister’s home and not seeing them, the thought of not seeing them for a while now, and the idea of what my “Sister “ a "Mom” is going through today, at this moment.

Thousands of young children are about to start getting settled into their new lives at the university, making new friends walking the new path of their lives. But what about the “MOTHERS”, it’s a new beginning for them as well. Mothers who have changed their kids nappies , have seen them through their sickness, have pulled them from the betrayed friendships. What about her  the “MOM”.

The prolog of your child leaving for the University can be or should I say is “ Stressful”. Having a child leave for university is generally regarded as measure of success, a sense of satisfaction that  you have prepared them for the world. But it satisfaction is followed by the grief, yes you definitely grieve over them leaving the home. We all dread that moment , but we all have to face that  DAY  in our life.

The reality sinks in when after days of sitting on the coach and watching T.V, those late nights end and one fine morning they start cleaning up their room and what all they need goes in those “ Bags” placed on the bed. What is left behind are empty cup -boards and book shelves.

The reality sinks in when in the University all the doors welcome you with all that “Smiles”.

The reality sinks in when all of the sudden you stand right there and all these doors began to close. The corridor becomes empty , you stand there, that hug when you are trying to balance your emotional and physical self !! As your child walks pass that empty corridor making a divide between the family and university.

What flashes in front of you ?
The first day at the kindergarten !!!
The first day at the school !!
The first day at the dance class !! and many other first times.

You want to shout , with those wet blurred eyes, “No !!! Not Yet !! Its too soon !!!!

I am sure you all agree that goodbye hugs are not good they are heart wrenching , though we know that this good-bye does not meant that they are gone forever, but yet it means we are not going to meet for a while.

On your return!!! The  “HOME” isn't the same.

On dinner tables , you have those two empty chairs, the back seats in the car is empty when you have to go for a social family visits!!!!

How much we have taught them to be independent and confident in their lives, all that lessons seems to be hopeless!!! Isn’t it ?

THE NEST IS EMPTY

And we all go through or will eventually go through the Empty Nest Syndrome !!!

You will find few more who are in the same situation as you, you share a tear, a laugh and create a bonding a kind of a connection that makes you realize “you are not alone”.You have faith that they will flourish, they will become young adults , because you have given them what all they needed.

We all learn !!! We all accept !!!

We  accept that they have embarked on new journey learning to make a new nest.
Yes, leaving behind “AN EMPTY NEST”!!!!!!!







Monday, May 16, 2016

You Read It and It Reads You

Literature is not just words ...
It's more than words ....
It's your interaction with your thoughts and these thoughts become live on paper .........

With great pride , I would like to share with you all a blog http://smallgirlstories.blogspot.com
of a 12 year old girl Anoushka Mankodi,a voracious reader and a budding poet
who in today's world, where the technology has taken over the reading brains of the teenagers aspires to be writer / author.

Her poems are her self expressions... More like paintings in words with quality of being amusing.

   

Saturday, March 19, 2016

I Believe !!!!

I generally do not insert pictures on my blog !! 
But this one I couldn't resist , had  to share with you all !!!
 
It says ..all that  I want to write !!!

Sometimes there are stormy moments in your life. Times when everything just  does not seem right, and that's the time in your life when your friends do more than just walk with you..... 

They become Angels ...with no wings just in disguise of ordinary person living an ordinary life ....

Who says they reside only in heaven few walk among us on the earth to share our happiest hours and deepest sorrows !! 

Some just dream ! Some just feel ! I have held her in my arms !  

Angels do exist !! I met mine !  

Hope you all meet your's soon !! 


Thursday, January 28, 2016

A Hope Not A Promise

She was sitting in her balcony, with a hot chocolate mug in her hand, watching the last sunset of 2015, wondering how life has changed in the last few months. All her friends were to go for the New Year’s Eve party, but she had decided to stay home this 31stdec. As she watched the sun slithered behind the cloud clad mountains, so did she slip into the flashback!!

Just a day before the Festival of Lights, Diwali as we all Indians call, she had visited the gynecologist thinking she had some hormonal issues, hence did the blood test followed by an ultra sound.

“It can’t be pregnancy!!”  She told the radiologist. ”May be some cyst or an ineffective organ needs to see its way out from my body!!”  She added laughing.

The next minute, what she heard was very familiar sound …. “Heartbeats”!!! Yes it was the sound of the “heartbeats”.
She looked towards the monitor screen dazed, shocked and happy all at the same time.  The radiologist standing there smiling looking straight into her eyes…….

 They drove back home, with “Pin Drop Silence in the Car “.The silence was finally broken.

“Does this all mean that I am going to be an elder bro”? Asked her 10 year old while getting out from the car’s rear seat.

She and her husband preferred not say anything as yet to their son till enter the house.

She was happy and so was her husband. They sat and discussed for a while and finally settled down a bit. She was wobbly, quivering but she had to share it with her “Angel Friend “.

She dialed her number.

In few minutes, two of her friends were at the door hugging her. 

Since then it has been time of bliss. She has been dreaming about a complete family. She has been dreaming about a girl child.

“Mom !!! There’s someone to see you”! her son said. And she returned to the present .She got up rather carefully from the balcony chair and made her way to the hall room.


She had received a call from the hospital that the long awaited; few pending test results were ready.

Time had passed and now she was in the 19th week She was young she thought, if 42 was new 22 as told by her angel friend..Her first pregnancy was all ok, some normal placental issues were there but nothing was wrong, so she was sure all is going to be fine this time too. She had almost passed her 1st trimester being completely unaware that she was pregnant. She had not taken and precaution, which needs to be taken and nothing had gone wrong. Her immense faith in god made her believe that nothing can go wrong now.

“Ma’am the doctor is waiting for you “, the lady at the front desk counter told her while handing over the printed report.

“Oh!! But she doesn’t even know that we are here to collect the report “she replied while going through her reports, trying to understand the medical jargons.

“Yes! Ma’am she left a message for us, that when you come to collect the reports, we should direct you to her”, replied the lady without taking her eyes off her computer.

“Thank you”, she and her husband responded in chorus made their way to the elevator.

The room on the first floor was full of happy pregnant ladies. They waited for a while, and then the doctor, called them in the cabin.

She and her husband were curious to know about the reports.

They wished the doctor, and with a brief eye contact and a smile, “doctor, hope all is ok? Asked the husband sitting next to his wife.

“ Hmm !!! it does not look too good “ the doctor replied. The reports state , “ Trisomy 21 “ is above cut of range, which means that there is a very high risk that the baby is not normal.  I can’t guarantee, that the baby at the time of delivery would be a normal kid”, she added.

She and her husband , staired at the doctor in disbelief. No genetic history , the first kid is a normal kid, no family history of abnormality than how could this happen. She asked the doctor.

Doctor said,” Yes to my surprise also!!!”, But we can’t ignore the report. I suggest we do some further tests which unfortunately are not done here, I suggest you go to your home country ”.

They took the next day’s flight to the motherland, with wet eyes, but with lot of hope and faith.  She was confident that the test reports were wrong, the pathology had goofed up big time, and she needs to be doubly sure before they come to any decisions.

They did the entire tests including the other few tests in India, and the results arrived in two days.

When they walked in the doctor’s cabin, he looked at them and confirmed their worst fear.

The reports were 98.9 percent positive, meaning she had a Down syndrome kid. No further tests or surgeries could change what was already done.

 Pregnancy is a gamble, who said it was a guarantee.

They knew what had to be done, a decision which killed them a thousand times, and it will keep killing them all their life.

 Yes the baby might live, but that’s not the life they had chosen for their kid.

Nobody told what was inside her was just “A HOPE NOT A PROMISE “.

This is “HER” story, and it might have no significance to any!!!

But it did teach me Few Lessons!!!!!

We all go through painful times in our lives.

We start expecting a lot in life, but life like pregnancy is very unpredictable. Expectations are the root cause for all heartache. And more worse is the hope. Hope is a very dangerous thing, not always but sometimes hopes just sets up for huge disappointments.  Once you start hoping, with each passing day your expectations increase as well. So the best thing is “no expectations no disappointments”.

How great it would be if the things just turned out the way you had planned it, but it does not happen all the time. Things do go wrong, and they don’t get always fixed. You can’t put it together like it was before.  

The result is you loose your smile, you end up crying, and you end up in Grief. There is no specific rule book to grief; grief is as individual as your fingerprint. Your grief can never end, but it does changes. If you are going through grief, never think you are weak or you lack the faith. Just remember one thing that if you are in grief you are paying the price of love.

The pain will stay with you, in your heart as a memory.

 Generally grief and pain tend to change you as a person; you either get bitter or better. Whether you let it make you a better person or tear you down is going to be your decision, fate cannot decide that.

I feel the experience of grief has neither  any rules nor has any shortcuts. What needs to be done is forget about the past, like the trees shed the dead leaves and creates new ones. It will take its own time; it’s not that you are going to come out of the pain in a day. It might take you days, weeks, months or years!!!
Take your time!!!  Strive to become a better version of what you were created.  Refuse to be held by pain.

Breathe life!!!  Dream Again!!!  Let the hope and faith get stronger!!!

Show that you can overcome!!!


Because, Without Faith, Hope and Trust... there is no promise.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Happy Best Friends Day - Ode To A Friend,

   
We all have a huge list of friends, but today is the day for that one special friend who has always been there for us, life just wouldn't be the same without them. 

Lot of friends I have had,
Few stayed and few fled,


We met as strangers, in the journey of life,
Thinking each other, we would never like.

Through thick and thin, worse of me,
You were there besides me.

The relation is rare, but is true,
It’s because we care, we made it through.

You taught me the meaning of a friend,
You were the one holding my hand.

You made me laugh, when I wanted to cry,
Giving wings to my dreams and make me fly.

It was easy together to fight life’s fears,
Embarrass the failure, and wipe the tears.

As the years trundled by, our paths certainly spilt,
I can never refute, but proud to admit.

God sent an angel, as a friend,
Always to belong, till the end.

Friend like you makes the world a better place,
An extraordinary gift, someone I could never replace.

Miles have definitely kept us apart,
We are always there in each other’s heart.

Those moments spent with you I cherish,
To meet you soon is the only wish.


Tuesday, May 5, 2015

My Husband's New Found Love 🐓🐓

Being born in a typical Parsi family, every other day the meal consisted of dhanshak, chicken farcha, sali ghosh and the list just goes on.
Marrying a vegetarian Brahmin ! Yeah sounds a bit difficult isn't it ? But It was smooth transition !!!

He is a vegetarian by birth but yes eats eggs ....
And we parsis add egg to every possible dish.To get us to eat vegetables is necessary to break an egg on it . We have "bhida per eedu" ( eggs over ladyfingers ), "papeta per eedu" ( eggs over potatoes ), tameta per eedu ( eggs over tomatoes ) and if you all are wondering what " eedu " means ...it means the "egg" in our typical Parsi style Gujarati.

With great determination and pride, I bid goodbye to non vegetarian food.Not because of any other reason, "it was a personal choice" reason obvious I use to feel lazy to cook for me alone.

My husband has been asking me and a lot of other people , to convince him with one good reason that he should try eating " chicken " . And all of us have been telling him just one thing "It Tastes Nice".

Our house has been a battlefield where he would say how cruel we were to kill animals and eat them too !!!  And in defense I would say, oh so what veggies kill Mosquitos, those rats found in the house not to forget those " lizards " crawling on the walls too!! How cruel is that ?

Ok so after living in an animal free existence for many years, "chicken" made an entry again in our lives when my son grew a little older and his taste buds nodded a yes to eating a chicken .

Now , with the 2:1 ratio in the house for chicken ! My husband finally decided to take that tiny little step of eating "chicken" yet with the true soul of a vegetarian !! 

A few months back , he had a camping night with his friends, with a lot of internal debating between the mind and the soul as to eat or not to eat, I believe the mind won and " try it man " voice took over the soul .

It was difficult to manage the first bite, but than its mouth watering taste was irresistible and he took on more .
( it tastes nice ! Proves right isn't it )

Since that day any Indian restaurant's  we have visited, we have reshmi kababs and in an Lebanese restaurant we have 
"shish-tawook".

And a lot more " chicken dishes " are awaiting their trial.

Well what can I ask for ? Or what can I say ? But .........

My husband's new found love 

SPICY , TANGY AND JUICY "Chicken" 🐓🐓🐓

Friday, April 17, 2015

Munch Crunch and Slurp



Do you love food ? Do you think food ? Do you love cooking food ? I mean loving food is like loving any other thing in life .

And so you have to treat food with all the trust , respect and dignity and enjoy every bit of it ! Making it as well as eating it !!!

I am sure you all will agree with it ! 

So if you are looking for mouth watering recipes , no better place than to visit my friends Facebook page !! And try those yummiest recipes ! Don't forget to hit the like button 😄

The link is below 



Plate the food !! Close your eyes ! Take that one big breath !! Begin to eat ! Chew each bite ! Taste all the flavors !! And say I LOVE FOOD 



Angels Walk Among Us !!!

Do you believe in Angels ? Well, I do !! 

Everyone should believe in Angels!! Everyone needs them , at least one good one !

Today , my soul was lifted by that one Angel. She made me believe that Angels do really walk among us .

Friends are those precious people that make a second home away from our home . They are our family by choice. I am convinced that I have greatest friends in my life and and they have been there for me always ! 

But , She walked into my life at the most unexpected circumstances. It's difficult to explain sometimes how and why people end up together . They just do !! They come into your life and you know right away that they are meant to be there  " SHE " is one of them . We just know each other for more than a year now , but since the time we have met , she has amazed me with her unconditional support !!

I believe everything happens for a reason. Illness , injury , love , heartbreaks , some foolish and sheer stupidity all of it occurs to test us , test the limit of our soul . And in these testing times , today I had her holding my hand praying together with me for me and my family and telling  me " it shall pass , it's just a phase " !!!!

What a beautiful gift , she has given me !!

Her gentle loving kindness has greatly touched my heart !! She made me believe and experience that ,

" Angels do exist , they walk among us "