Sunday, August 5, 2012

Oldies Require Their Space

The morning sun was bright and shining, the roads a bit less busy being Thursday ( Its weekend  time in Oman ), I was enjoying my drive back home after dropping my son for  his karate classes, thinking what all have to finish in this 2 hours of time I have with me, till I go back to pick him up.  On my way , I stopped to pick up my laundry , I was sitting and noticing the people passing by , while the laundry guy came to place the laundry in the back seat of the car (the privilege of being a lady !!!  I guess to get the service till the car door!!!).

And right in front of me, I see and an old woman shuffling around the road and she suddenly stopped and started to look around. I was watching her , as I was watching the rest , for at least 5 minutes, while the sun was beating over her , she was unsure what she wanted to do .

I could not stop myself , I got down of my car and asked her if she needed help, she blankly looked at me ,  I realized that she did not understand English , but she did understand that I had extended my hand , and that was to help. Not knowing what to do next, I just brought her to the laundry shop, and offered her the chair. She was totally disoriented, but regained her composure in 5 -10 mins, and with the help of the laundry person (fortunately, they learn Arabic from their business point). I was able to take her home.

While me and the laundry fellow, rang the door bell of the house,( wondering and hoping we are at the right house !!! )  the door was answered by his son , he told us that his mother had the habit of slipping away.And how thankful he was that we had brought her home .I left the  house ,with a sigh of relief , that  the women was at her home in peace and with her loved ones !!!!!! ( While I wondered if he meant,  slipping away was mentally or physically ?) . 

Anyways , I had no time to go home now, so I headed back towards my son’s karate classes to pick him up and  now  the thoughts were all different then what I had before.

Why would someone do something like this and slip away from the house? Was it something abnormal? No, I guess it was not, why should they sit home and do nothing just because they have aged? Why should they stop doing something they have been doing since they were kids?

Why elderly people get dismissed at times?  I guess the general feeling is that a bed and a plate of food is their only need in the old age and that is what going to make them feel secure!!! Wrong!!!! Have we ever thought that only a room to exercise their freedom and over and above children who take them for granted, is the major cause. I understand that their bones may be weak now, the memory fading with time but enthusiasm is as high as it was ever, for their independence.

My father always uses to be out on his own till he breath his last. My mom, who till today is on her own, doing things and managing house as well as outside activities. Why just my parents, even my in –laws, they are on their own in their 70’s, it’s just difficult to keep them indoors, they are just not content sitting home doing nothing. There has been always a horrible feeling, that something might happen to them when they are out there alone, but nothing ever happened to them (grace of god!!!)
I have few friends , whose father’s have worked for 40 -50 years , and then find it difficult to stay in bed after six in the morning, they still continue the same routine and are reason they are healthy , few have started their own small time business , though not profitable in any kind but yes keeps them busy and occupied .
Have we given a thought that when we are young time just is not enough, it just seems to be running and we are always in a dilemma that are we earning enough to give our kids a better life and secure future, not knowing that when we will get old time is never going to be important, and will our children ever spare a thought to our needs.

During my morning walks I come across lots of old people who are sitting and sipping hot coffee, talking about their yester years and wondering what the generation of today is going to be, and not far from there I see a few young bunch of people, who are all engrossed with their hi –tech technology gadgets, or occasionally shouting and disturbing the morning tranquility.

I believe the gap between the two groups is the testimony to the division between the two generations.
Wonder how we will put it when we are in our twilight years, as my friend philosophically says,
I will put my feet up and watch young people sweat it out, where as I will do nothing -
Or as I put it in old days you graduate from Somebody to Nobody.

 I will definitely tell my son never try and make attempt to chain me indoors , when my time to drool comes, I better cross the busy roads of life in my twilight years and enjoy what is left for me in this world !!!!

1 comment:

A day in the life of a MOM said...

So nicely written Shazneen and I totally agree with you, we need our space, our freedom and our independence, at every age !