Friends - God's Perfect Gift

When god created the world and all the magnificent things, he outdid it by creating friends.

A friend is a channel through which emotional spiritual and sometimes physical blessing flow. Life seems pretty boring without friends.

I always had a little bit of smaller bunch of friends and among them there were few who were best friends. But to top it all, among the best lot, I had those few who were closest to me, the ones with who I shared my biggest secrets and was the keeper of their deepest secrets as well. They were the ones who could push me and make me see the best in me.

Why not take this opportunity and thank all those who have been in my life till now as my closest friends.

VEDANGEE……

I met my childhood best friend vedangee in kindergarten. My mother had taken me to the school on the very first day, and left me to the teacher saying she would be back in few hours to pick me up.!!!

Suddenly tears started to roll down my eyes, no it was not tears rather we can put it has a loud sound along with tears which is called “ crying “. I didn't understand why my mother had to leave me with a bunch of kids who were in no better state then I was and a complete stranger lady, who was called a teacher…

Nevertheless, the final goodbyes ended with my mom, and an assurance that she would be back I was walked by the teacher through the class. Our slow and tender steps walk ended next to a small table and chairs where already another girl was sitting and yes who was crying as well !!!.(It was our first day at school!!!!).

I sat next to her and then teacher gave us some crayons and coloring paper. Slowly, the crying faded in the joy of coloring. Both of us knew each other by now with our names... (Also with our nick names).

Soon we had started sharing our crayons, and fighting over who had colored the pictures better!!! .

Vedangee was with me till 7^th grade, and we shared a special close relation among the rest.

That’s how I met my first ever friend, who became my closest buddy in my childhood days. She still holds a special place in my heart.

As I grew older I started to appreciate friendships and relationships more in my life. I still remember, I always wondered who to trust and who would understand me better. Then came along in my life

BHAVNA….

In the 8^th grade, all the students were shuffled as per subjects opted and hence it was time to leave behind the secondary school friends while moving on to higher secondary. The day I entered my class I could see few familiar faces among the strangers who were not my friends.

I will have to make new friends “I was aware “but how “I was not sure “. I made my way through all the front row desks which were already occupied and decided to sit on the second last desk. 

A while later, a tall girl with hair plaited. Walks up to the desk, and occupies the place next to me.

Both of us had the same thought in our minds, “Ok, we are going to be bench mates “.

“I always end up sitting at the last benches, because of my height “she said.

I smiled and replied, “For me there was no choice, as the entire front desks are already occupied.

We both smiled …..

By the end of the day, our nerdiness and the craziness for the movies and the admiration for the same movie 

stars made us bond like we knew each other since years. A bond I would say was instantaneous. We bunked classes, when we struggled with assignments we knew we had each other to fall back on, even shared with each other our first crush. (The initial teen age crush!!!).Her family became my second family. We shared our god and bad times, sad and happy moments.

Time does not wait it moves on. She moved to the different country after marriage, but even though it has been years now we have not met, even though we live in two different countries, we do catch up with each other over social sites.

Virtually, every new chapter in life has potential to disrupt friendships. As the chapter called marriage unfolded in my life, I moved on to a foreign land holding hands with my better half, and unknown territory which I entered, hoping to make some new friends…

I truly, believed that through fate and bit by chance, I will definitely find some smiling faces and helping hands… which I did… and among all I found..

Annapurna.....

It was a beautiful Sunday morning; we all mutual friends had planned a picnic to a nearby dam. It was decided to meet at a friend’s house, at particular time. We arrived a bit late.  You all can imagine if you are a mother of a 2 year old than how it would be?

When we reached the porch of the friend’s house, I saw a couple sitting outside, it was obvious I had never seen them before, thought them to be relatives.

Hi!!  We are sorry, we are a bit late, “I said to the couple.

The lady looked at me, and nodded with a bit of sly smile. I found her to be a bit arrogant at the first look.

On seeing us, the friend came and introduced the couple to us, and said “they are new to the town, so thought to join them along “.

I smiled said “Hi “and the husbands greeted each other with a handshake.

My husband told Annapurna and Ashwin (the couple‘s name) to join us in our car.

My eyebrows raised , thinking, the women carries attitude how am I going to travel the distance with them?

Anyways, the trip to the dam began …

On our way, I came to understand that the reason she was upset was they were informed a wrong time. 

They had reached our friends place, an hour and a half before. The reason of her annoyance now fell in place for me. Even I would have reacted the same way, if I was in her place.

We talked, and talked and talked and it just clicked between us. We shared the same interest, same ideas, same thinking over certain things. The entire picnic, we were kind of glued to each other. Hardly noticing what the rest were up to.

The day came to an end, it was time to go to our dwellings, but it led us to theirs.

Since that day, we had so many outings together, dinners and sleepovers at each other’s house.

We bonded into friendship, but our commitment to friendship made the bond. She knows me in and out and it’s always a wonderful feeling to find that someone knows you better than your own self Annapurna happens to be that someone. A friend you are able to talk to about anything, to feel the unconditional love and acceptance and never being judged.

It never feels like we aren't close, just because we don’t stay in the same country anymore. Though we are apart we have maintained our long distance friendship.

Friends might come and go in your life, they can make us cry and laugh but what is most important is that they love you for who you are. Friendships are not some contract which is made on paper. It is a commitment for life which is renewed every time you keep in touch.

With life’s challenges. I have not been able to keep in touch with my friends, but I want all of them to know that even we are apart physically and emotionally, though we do not talk or have not seen each other in years. I really appreciate the treasure of friendships, joys and sorrows that we shared...

This post is the part of Write Over The weekend an initiative for Indian Bloggers by Blogadda.

What Do You Prefer ?

The other day, I was at a party sitting with a friend. A lady approached us and told my friend how wonderful she looked and her outfit was really nice, she really liked it. She walked away, complementing my friend, my friend on the other hand leapt into a conclusion that the lady (whom she had never met or known) was being sarcastic and she really got offended by something which was a genuine compliment.

I wondered , at that point of time that if the lady had been actually sarcastic , then may be my friend would have chosen to think that “ she was complimenting  and would have gladly replied “ thank you , I am so glad u liked it “ and would have felt better than how she was feeling right now , almost sulky and angry.

I am really curious we humans, get happy, sad, hurt, etc by someone else.

How can anyone make us really feel things? How do they make us feel happy or sad?

What do they say? How do they say, “come take this tin full of sadness “or they say “Aah today u need a bucket full of happiness, here take it I brought it especially for you!!!?

How I wish I could buy happiness and sadness over the supermarket shelves!!!! How I wish it was that simple.

The above incident and many more made me realize, that we often rely on others to make us feel in a particular way. It’s always because of people, they do something, they say something or they do not say something or they do not do something, triggers how we feel.

When people do things as per our expectations, how we want it to be... we are happy …

But, as soon as they don’t do what we were expecting them to do. We are suddenly hurt and their actions make us sad.

In short, we often try to control other people, in order to control how we feel!! (   I am no different!!!).

But, is it really possible, I wonder!!!!

The answer is “NO’.  We cannot control people. Neither can we force them to do anything, nor assume that they will.

The person, we can control is  " US ". We can control only ourselves.

How can people make us feel certain things, the thing we call emotions.

It’s we who decide to choose how to feel.

It’s we who decide to feel or react in a certain way.

It’s we who make assumptions.

And aren’t we only who leap to conclusions.

No one can ever give us tin of sadness or bucket of happiness. They are within us!!! They are intangible items.

We all have seen cars on the roads, if you see them , they are mere tin boxes moving on the road, but what we tend to forget is that it moves because there is someone inside controlling it.

We often run on an  autopilot theory, and we most of the time forget that there is a “person “inside us who is in control.

Guess its time to take back the control of ourselves. Control how to feel, rather than relying on others.

It has to be your choice – choose to feel bad or choose to feel good!!

I prefer to feel good !!!!

What do you prefer ?

My Mother - My Academy

Why is it when we were younger we thought we knew everything, yet the older we get the more we realize we don’t know what we thought we knew? Thank God, he gave us all mothers who taught us things in simple and quite ways.

My mother was widowed at age 49 and left alone to raise me, my sister and my brother. She had to quickly learn to do things she’d never done before, but as she was always been strong intelligent, independent lady learning things didn’t take long. Along the life’s challenges, she took one big life lesson with her, the more you do things for yourself, the better. Since then, she taught us to be self reliant and self sufficient.

Always supportive, she clapped loudest at my school plays; held box of tissues while listening to my heartbreaks, confronted and encouraged me when it was needed.

I learned from watching her that no matter what life throws at you there is a choice to keep walking forward or to give up. Throughout my young age, there were several instances when, I felt stuck or trapped in a situation, times when I felt most paralyzed; she reminded me that we always have options. The options might give us setbacks, but they are not insurmountable.

It was this advice that allowed me to make some of the life’s most challenging decisions as an adult. It pushed me to throw my hat in the ring from a high level job and move to another city, it was this advice which made me leave a lucrative career behind in order to follow my passions and my dreams.

This advice is what made me survivor in life, my own little family have learned to survive changes , we have learned that changes bring opportunity rather than being something we should fear.

To sum it up, I would not have taken any of the worthy risk of my adult life without it.

I think lots of us grow up believing that our parents are perfect and then suffer when at some stage they make big mistake, the fantasy is shattered and the damage seems great. My mother always made me realize she was not perfect nor was her life. She always told me “No one is perfect, baby that’s why pencils have erasers “.

I had a complete freedom to try whatever my heart lead me to do , I never had a curfew in my life,  the message said that  “ she trusted me enough to let me find my way “. Guess free parenting at its best!!!!

She gave me priceless treasures, taught me love  and compassion are value that life’s all about,  giving is more precious than even gold, the love and care which I will give will return  to me in ten folds ….

Even if doesn’t seem like it, hard word and perseverance pay off in the end. She taught me the value of guilt and conscious, struggles make us who we are and give us strength to be stronger.

One of the most important things she taught me is “There is only one life for each one of us, OUR OWN “… and live it to the fullest!!!!!

She remains the most loving and giving woman I have ever come across and I am honored to have her as my mother, my siblings and I are blessed, in the way she shaped our lives.

People often ask me how I stay so calm or how I maintain an optimistic outlook and my reply is “it’s all in the genes “ !!!

‘I am writing a Tribute to Mom in association with Parentous.com

Forgetful Me ............

Forgetfulness hits us in varying degrees and at different points of time in our life , which actually makes us think , and wonder as to  , is it really that we are ageing ( we are told , that with age we tend to forget isn't it ? ) or are we really stressed , too much stressed that we tend to forget things on and off…

Adventure starts in my house early morning with, my husband leaving for the office around the same time when my son leaves of school, so you can imagine, how is it for a wife and mom at that point of time, I am actually multitasking, packing my son’s lunch box, giving the breakfast to my husband, with occasional shouts at my son, “Get ready fast or you may miss your bus “.

After few minutes the house is a silent zone, and that’s the time I sit with the newspaper in one hand and my breakfast in the other. I eat up the entire breakfast, just wondering what is that one thing missing on the table. “Coffee” of course, I realize when hours later, I open the microwave to warm my lunch and see my coffee mug inside.

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

I generally pull my reading glasses over my head, when I am not doing any reading or writing and then race down the entire house trying to track them down, telling myself “Why don’t I keep my things where they belong” and as soon as I bend down to check a particular drawer, they slide down from my head and sit on my nose…….

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

To search for my car keys, is like a treasure hunt in the house, starting from the purse, to the kitchen shelves, near the micro and above the fridge. After a lots of efforts and mournful sighs I go and sit on the sofa in the living room, and there the keys are between the Laughing Buddha statue and the phone , of course yesterday when I entered the house , the first thing I did was , attended a phone call ….

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

The grocery list always seems to be missing from my purse and I always wonder how it finds its way out from my purse!! Cribbing and cursing I manage to fill the trolley with the necessities. I return home and place the grocery bags in the kitchen, walk upon the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water, there I see the grocery list, tucked to a smiley fridge magnet …” viola I never made it to your purse”….

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

Tea parties with friends on a particular day is very much marked on my planner and I read it as a ritual daily, telling myself that I have to be there without fail. The reminder of the same thing is on my phone as well, which I quietly close when it rings. When a friend calls to check how long would I take to reach, as everyone is waiting for me …?  I just realize that I got busy into something else …

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

I wonder, I am starting to lose my brain power, am I really losing it upstairs.

I wonder, what is that I should do?  I think I need to focus, and without any excuses.

I may be forgetful at times, and I can’t rely on people to remind me things or take care of me …..

After all I am grown up now – I have to take care of my memory and myself…

I should take note of it and clip it on my soft board... but where is my Writing PEN!!!

“That’s Forgetful Me ….”

This post is the part of Write Over The Weekend ,an Initiative for Indian Bloggers by Blogadda.

13th May 2005

Indeed A thought provoking question One day that I would want to relive again and again?

To be honest I know I can’t change the past and I have very little control over the future so I normally try to live in the present. But I guess all of us at one time or another have wished we could turn back the clock and relive some moments from the past, perhaps we would have made different choices or maybe we just want to experience the whole thing all over again.

What would I want to relive? 

I have never thought in this way , but today if I have this chance to dream even though I know it’s not real , sort of going back in time I would pick up 13^th May  2005 .

I was pulling out of the hospital parking lot, with a positive pregnancy report in my hand. With thoughts of calling my family back home, to tell them about a new addition in the family in few months from now.

Then the phone call came, my brother in law had called to inform that our uncle was serious and was admitted. Everything came to a halt, my mind, my soul and my body. I stood there outside my car , in the parking lot looking at the blue sky and earnestly prayed  to god , who most of the times have fulfilled my wishes.

“He is gone " said my brother in law. I had nothing to say, but to believe that ultimate destiny is to God.

My uncle was close to me after my father’s death in 1995, left us all in the most unexpected way.

I do have regret about me being overseas and I did not have the chance to say even good bye to him.

I want to turn time back, wish I was not miles away on that day.

So many thoughts, so many things left unsaid. I wonder what was in his mind in those last moments he had alone to himself.

How I wish I could be there just in time, to make him live... …

How I wish I could tell him on that day that I was going to be a mother……

How I wish I could show him my accomplishments …….

How I wish I could make him stay to see, the person I have become ……..

How I wish, I could relive that day again and again, just to change the fate……

How I wish that I could rewind the time and relive the last 7 years with him in my life.

But I know, this is just a dream not be to true. Neither the moments gone cannot be relived nor can the people gone ever come back.

Thus, the truth is far away from reality.


This post is a part of <a title="Write Over the Weekend" href="http://blog.blogadda.com/category/write-over-the-weekend-wow" target="_blank">Write Over the Weekend</a>, an initiative for <a title="Reach out to the largest community of Indian Bloggers" href="http://www.blogadda.com/" target="_blank">Indian Bloggers</a> by BlogAdda