Saturday, March 22, 2014

Unconscious Agreements !!!

The weather has changed, evenings are yet a bit pleasant which lures you to leave the house and be by the pool reading your favorite author. I was unerringly doing the same, but I had hardly managed to flip a few pages and something very distinctive happening in front of me caught my attention more than the book.

A group of kids were all around a boy, who had brought a new bicycle and everyone wanted a ride.

It was neither the bike nor the excitement of the kids, but it was the conversation among them which caught my attention.

All of them were urging the “proud owner of the bike “to let them try his new possession and the “owner” was in complete denial.

Suddenly one child among all said, “OK, if you let me ride your bike, then I will let you play on my PSP “.
The next minute, the “Owner” handed the handle of the bicycle to child and he paddled away with a smile.

Few watched him ride with sad faces, few dispersed and few started playing again from where they had left.


Sounds familiar I told myself, I have heard it so many times. Alright, I have said it as well to my son so many times.

“If you finish your homework, then you will go down to play “!!! If you behave properly...then I will get you a gift “!!!

I could actually relate to it. It’s like an “AGREEMENT “which we unconsciously create between people.

And the child had done just the same. He had  created an “AGREEMENT “.

I believe everyone creates such unconscious agreements from early days through later life. We generally create a condition where we rely on other person to behave or perform certain actions, so that it will make us feel certain emotions.  Isn’t it?

And sometimes we even make AGREEMENTS where the other person is not even aware of them. Why? Because we never told them about it, when the person does not behave the way we anticipated them to behave we feel sad, hopeless, unhappy etc... But how does that person know what they were supposed to do? We never told them in the first place?  Did we???!!!!

 I think we can never make anyone do anything; we cannot force people to do things that will meet our condition. We can have control only on one person that’s “us “not anyone else.

I have learnt one thing, that if we are going to make these agreements with people we might as well tell them.  It will have stronger relationships and we will find these agreements being met more as people may not be able to fulfill it all the time but will make an attempt “at least.

I returned from my thoughts and opened my book , when I hear my friend calling her son , “ Time to go home  and if you come now , then you will be able to watch some T.V. ".

I smiled!!!!

I wonder whether this “Agreements “will make our lives better or worse?

I closed my book and walked towards my “HOME “…….

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